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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that had something really, really funny to write, and then we forgot it.

It wasn’t our fault, either. We weren’t even supposed to be in the office (heck, we feel like that every day, but …) there we were, and people were asking us questions, and the phone kept ringing (why does everyone wait until 4 p.m. to call us back, when they know darn well we need to be finishing our work at that time?) and then we had to go to this very exciting meeting and read the 18 points of good management style out loud. The flashbacks of reciting “See Spot Run” were enough to erase any humor we had in our wee noggin’.

But we did remember this one-liner another staffer said right before we had to go into the meeting:

“Never marry a stuntwoman. They fake everything.”

We thought that was pretty hilarious.

***

Be glad we don’t have crime like this here in Summit Up Land:

Reading Wednesday’s Greeley Tribune, there was a story about the “Bologna Ghost.” Sounds appetizing, yet scary, huh?

Anyway, the story goes that a mysterious figure struck silently in the night near the University of Northern Colorado campus Monday, then hurried away, leaving only a little paint and a few slices of bologna at the scene of the crime. Police have assured the public that, while the crime may not be solved, they don’t believe anyone else is in danger of having their car bologned. The phantom struck late Monday night, placing several slices of bologna on the hood and windshield of the victim’s black Toyota. There also was some illegible writing with white paint and black marker pen on the windows of the car.

Tuesday morning, little evidence was left at the crime scene, except for one dried-up slice of bologna, found a few feet from the victim’s car. The meat slice was not taken as evidence, and it is unknown if fingerprints can be lifted from bologna.

***

Congrats! to our local cookie-selling Girl Scouts, they made us fat. No, just kidding. Actually, we want to congratulate Emily Briggs, of Breckenridge; Alexandra Guras, also of Breck; Katelyn Robinson and Kaitlin Leach, of Dillon; and Bobby Bouchard, of Silverthorne. They all made it into the Mile Hi Council’s top-seller list. Special recognition should go to Elizabeth Champion of Dillon, who was the council’s runner-up top seller. She sold 2,002 boxes of cookies.

These young ladies will get to enjoy a recognition dinner in Denver next month. We’d tell them to keep up the good work, but our dentist and personal trainer would never forgive us.

***

Well, one of the mayors is here and he’s looking for the bathroom, so we gotta go (we have no idea what that means, but it’s true).

We’re out trying to remember what the heck we wanted to start this column with in the first place …


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