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Summit Up

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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column committed to examining fair wildlife exchange.The topic of wildlife exchange came up here at the Corporate Suites because of an e-mail that came across our computer screen Saturday from a local resident:

“First of all … that caption in the paper today below the caged mountain lion is hilarious. It appears they’re capturing Boulder mountain lions, and they’re releasing them ‘somewhere west of the Continental Divide’ aka Summit County. I think we should get together as a county and send Boulder County something we don’t really want in Summit County anymore. Maybe we should cage a Texan, and send him down to Boulder.”We’re positive we altogether disapprove of the suggestion, but it did get us to thinking.Where exactly are the captured mountain lions released? Do panel vans with tinted windows and Boulder County license plates drop the big cats off at the factory stores with Old Navy gift cards? Or do they take them up to the Tiki Bar for some sun and local brew?

Come to think of it, were the three lions spotted last year near the Blue River ball fields last summer actually transplants from the People’s Republic? Observers who saw them described the cats as “extremely fit, wealthy and liberal.” Hmmm. We here in the High Country truly love our Texans. Without them, the shopping just wouldn’t be the same. We know they’re used to abuse and we don’t want to contribute to it. Truly we don’t. We would never condone a plan to relocate them to Boulder because we know the average Texan would really hate it there. We wonder, though, if we DID want to catch them in live traps for relocation, what would be the best bait? Would rustic log furniture be the best, or would a simple moose motif lamp do the trick?

We urge our summer visitors not to worry. Even if the snarky e-mail writer gets his way, most live traps can be opened from the inside with a simple credit card – and it doesn’t even have to be platinum.*** It’s Sunday folks, and we’re out barbecuing with our neighbors from east of the Pecos.

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