Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with our pants down.
Now, please don’t be offended. It’s not on purpose. It’s just, twice in the last week, we’ve found ourselves in front of friends and strangers with, well, in the most awkward of situations.
The first time occurred on Monday, when our steroid-laced softball team was working hard for a win. With our Summit Up crew standing and cheering, we rounded third with a full head of steam and headed for home. It was a close play – bang-bang – and when the dust cleared, we were out and our shorts were around our ankles.How embarrassing. Good thing ESPN wasn’t there. Alas, though, we can’t fault the catcher for the effort, we just wondered if he really needed to add that kind of insult to injury.
The second time – yes, it’s becoming a pandemic -occurred during a rafting trip down the Blue River. There we were, a boatload of reporters, photographers, copy editors and a guide who, back in the day, was an avid correspondent for Summit Up, and we were all having fun. The water was cold. The sun was warm. And, above all else, we weren’t even thinking about the news. We were thinking about that giant rapid in front of us that, in a whoosh, kicked us over and sent a wave across our belly.
When the water cleared, we noticed our shorts, again were around our ankles. How could this happen? The drawstring was tight. We’re skinny, sure, but is this really necessary? Can we get arrested for such pants-related negligence? We guess the answer is, “Yes,” but we also know that in the middle of a river and on a softball field are two places where it’s a little more accepted to go au natural. Anyway, we hope this little problem clears itself up, so send us tips on how to keep our pants on to email@example.com, or call us at (970) 668-4625. We’re out buying suspenders …
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