Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s unintentionally working on a rare collection of scars and injuries due to summer sports injuries.Staffer # 411 endured a rib-cracking experience in a local soccer-league scrum.Another Corporate Suiter strained a quad in a sprint for first base during a triumphant softball conquest against the Vail Daily’s team. A couple more threw their arms out, and then there was the dude who was out biking at night without a light, and ran into one of the Breckenridge town planters, flying head over handlebars into a concrete embrace.
In a sidenote about the Summit Daily’s crosspass rivalry: On Sunday, the Summit Daily carpooled to Ford Park in Vail to face the Vail Daily’s squadron of large mouths and small bats. Behind the untouchable underhand knuckle ball of our pitcher, Editor # 123, the Summit Daily shut the VD out for the first 6 innings, until the bottom of the seventh, when the VD cried and whimpered for us to extend the game to 9 innings so they could score a run. We won 17-5, and returned to this superb county with our glory, though we believe someone from the Vail team ganked the Dr. Octopus trophy we donated to the contest as a symbol of bragging rights. So we’ll accept the crime in the form of pleasant irony that the Vail thieves stole our victory trophy which is of Dr. O, who happens to be a supervillain. ***In other summer-pain news, we witnessed a two-and-a-half-year-old fall from the top of a six-foot cliff that he was climbing, onto his forehead and chest. The young man cried for a few moments, and two minutes later, the tough guy was mastering his grips and holds on the same ascent. He walked away from the climbing walls with his bruises and scrapes caked in dust, and we interpreted the smile emanating from his little frame as meaning: “I will surpass you soon, despite my extreme youth.”
We love tough guys out here in adventure-sport land, so the current top athletes can rest assured that there are young ones out there who are presently training, developing thresholds for pain and a control of fear. And at this rate, these physically crazy and cool-minded individuals will undoubtedly blossom into worthy successors.***And one final note for anyone who has kids or husbands who don’t lift the toilet seat when they are doing their biz in the WC (that’s not World Cup in this context, it’s the euphemism for toilet). ATTENTION SHOPPERS — they make self-cleaning toilet seats. Yes, our roving reporter’s lovely hotel has one of these deluxe models, and it’s worth a brief description. After you finish your business and stand up from the porcelain throne, a combined sprayer-brush unit extends down from the tank and then the seat itself goes round and round a few times, sort of like a little electric train under the Christmas tree. It’s very cool and could lead to a whole new lifestyle for millions of people. Imagine never having to say to your significant other, or your kids, “Don’t forget to lift the seat.”
***E-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or give us a call at 668-4625. We out, poking the sore, prodding the injured and letting our toilet clean itself.
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