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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering just what to call itself.We’re wondering because one of our favorite issues – the tying of names to geographical terms – has come up again. As we live in the great Upside Down Dishwasher, aka Hindquarters, aka the Summit Upper Peninsula, we’re confused. So here’s our take:We prefer Coloradans to Coloradoans to Coloradoanese. People from Frisco should be Friscans. Those who reside in Dillon hereby shall be known as Dillettantes. We’re OK with Breckenridgians, but finding a name for those who hail from Silverthorne is too thorny an issue.What prompted the discussion, though, was the fact one of our favorite staffers is leaving for Gabon. What, we wondered, should we call people from Gabon? Given the pronunciation the dictionary suggests, we humbly submit “Gaboners.” So we started working our way through Africa and came up with Gamblers (oddly appropriate for the Republic of the Gambia and its infant mortality rate of nearly 78 per 1,000 live births) and Ivory Coasters – not to be confused with the trademark for any R&B act that has the same name.Let political correctness fall where it may.* * *From more of our files containing the scary but true, one of our field agents submits the following discourse:”I just had an inquiry: A patient of Dr. “‘ asked if it was all right to return to work while he is on percocet. He is a BUS DRIVER. He thought it was OK because the doctor prescribed them – no other effort at thought or reason. Now, don’t you feel superior?”In our experience, “superior” beats “kind of dumb and itchy” any day.* * *We have another dispatch from the field – the field of poetry, that is. J.J. from Omaha, Neb., writes:”While I would love to take credit for writing the verse, alas I cannot. I am a Breckenridge resident 10 days a year in the summer S (and) I keep in touch with your events daily through Summit Up on the Web. Keep up the good work. It is the bright spot in my day to read what is going on with my most favorite place in the world.”Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash (Read this aloud, if you can!)If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!If the label on the cable on the table at your housesays the network is connected to the button on your mouse,but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,”cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk,and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,then you’ll have to flash the memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!* * *From Shanna: “Happy anniversary! Jeremy, every time I see you, my heart fills with love, my stomach with butterflies and my eyes take more pictures of our future. Loving you more each day, Shanna.”* * *We’re chillin’ in Dillon and friskin’ the San Franciscans S


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