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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column happy to provide the answer to “What do bald men put for hair color on their driver’s licenses?”The answer is: Matte or glossy.Yes! This great answer was provided by someone named g rower, who we must assume is #) a witty guy/gal, or o) is in the know. We appreciate this enlightened response, g rower!* * *And we appreciate the wonderful haikus we’ve received, too!Here’s a few more of our favorites:The weather’s so coldSnot freezes on our nosesSummit County: homeOr:Where is that Ullr?We need the ^%(#&% snow – now!Ullr! Ullr! Ull!Or:Halloween pumpkinSeed and rind spew on the roadMischief makers rule* * *Carol Christiansen of Breckenridge called to let us know that Dana, her spousal unit/better half/tax write-off is celebrating a Big Birthday today. And he’s not very happy about it.His birthday is a little more severe than The Big 3-0, after which no one will trust you again. But it’s not as bad as (gulp) The Big 5-0, at which point Dana would be eligible to join AARP. That’s enough to depress anyone.Nope! Dana falls smack in the middle – at 4-0 – and we take a moment out of our lives to say, “Happy, happy birthday, you poor old wreck!”Carol says Dana doesn’t look nearly as old as he feels. We concur. You are only as old as your attitude inhibits you to be. That’s why we here in the Shiplike Behemoth behave like pre-teens most of the time, whining and stomping our collective foot one minute and running amok the next.And so should you, Dana! Have a big, fat, happy birthday! It could be worse. And all you other folks out there in Summit Up Land? If you see Dana around town today, wish him a good one. And then offer to escort him across the street.* * *People in the county are wondering about the mysterious shoe found sitting outside La Cima Mall one early Sunday morning.We have ideas:B) Nouveau art$) It’s the ranch-land equivalent of the cowboy boot (or snowboard glove) found alongside the road and stuck up on a fence post.) Dennis Rodman was here.–) Let’s call her Gabby, short of Gabriela, and since she was 5 years old and her mother read “Cinderella” to her, Gabby always carried around a princess shoe in her purse, just in case some magical moment were to appear. Saturday night, however, Gabby had a few too many Purple Monkeys and as she was running through the maze of staircases in the mall, lost her size 24 slipper. Gabby awaits her suitor.* * *We out.

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