September 24, 2006
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that feels like a bear getting ready for hibernation. We don’t know if it’s our Neanderthal roots or our hereditary propensity, but we are liking our three squares, three snacks and three treats every day these days.
We’ve heard that bears are eating around 20,000 calories per day this time of year. Our intake isn’t quite that high, but since the cold snap came we feel closer to our ursine neighbors. Extreme measures haven’t been taken yet. So far, our coworkers haven’t had to install special locks on the refrigerator or secure the outdoor trash. We’ve only resorted to snack machine visits and lots of leftovers to satisfy our cravings. Still, we can’t help thinking that the time to curl up in our cave and sleep for a long time is coming soon. It would be nice to have an extra layer of fat to keep us extra toasty, but the feather comforter might serve the same purpose. Then we can be sure to be on our game for ski season.
Bears can’t ski. We must remember that when we are jealous of their nutritional requirements this time of year. If we had a bear body, it would be very hard to ski and we would be very stinky. But we’re only human, right? We traipse around like we were part of a hunter/gather society, eating all the fat and sugar in sight. But then we return to our comfortable duplex and enjoy the gas fire and electric heat. The biggest worry we have are pesky bears getting into the trash.
We’ll have another bowl of Godiva raspberry truffle ice cream and curl up with a good book. ***We’re out, scratching the itch.