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Summit Up

SUMMIT UP

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column holding a guaranteed way to save our Federal Government at least, say, $20.This week, just in time for the holidays, we received our annual gift from the Feds: 14 copies of “Terrorism: A Field Guide for Media”. It’s an 82-page guide to the larger, 200-page version they came out with earlier this year. Apparently, they doubted we would read the whole thing.They were right.We put the full version in our resource file, thinking it would be handy in case something tragic happened in the county. But that positive thinking turned into dismay this week when the boxes of the “field guides” arrived.Turns out, we really didn’t need 14 copies. One would have sufficed. Maybe two. It proved our government is wasteful, or very pushy about making us think about terrorism during the holidays. (We know. Like that’s news.) So, we held on to them and put them in a pile in the newsroom, unsure of what the hell to do with them, other than give them away to friends and family we don’t really like. Think coal sends a message? How about unwrapping a black book with these words on the cover: “Biological agents; chemical agents; and radiation emergencies.” Deck the halls! Happy birthday, Jesus!Alas, though, our first gift of the season did give us fodder for Summit Up, not the first time our Feds have done so, but still, we should say thanks. So here it goes – thanks.Just for your pleasure, we listed the highlights, including the “duhs” of this year’s field guide:• Chemical agents can be poisonous. Chemical agents can be deployed in five ways (only five?)¢ Nuclear events produce a nuclear detonation. & Nuclear events leave a large amount of radioactivity.ô Toxins are poisonous.• Stool samples are useful for detecting botulism.There you have it. Copies can be picked up at the Summit Daily office.***One of our staffers too made the best comment about our terrorism delivery this week. She said: “They’d never send out a guide to help our community grow.” She’s right. We hope the Feds can send that one out next year … or, at least, 14 fruitcakes.***It’s Wednesday, and we’re hoping it goes better than Tuesday. Send us an e-mail to summitup@summitdaily.com, especially if you can add to our field guide about federal spending. So far, it’s 1,800 pages and weighs more than an elephant. We’re out printing a billion copies …


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