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Summit Up

Special to the Daily

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column asking to borrow some kids from rich Florida attorney Willie Gary, whose ex-fling is taking him to court and asking for $28,000 a month in child support.Wow, we say. Those kids must be valuable, if they need more each month than what we take away after taxes each year. Heck, we’ve been working hard at this career thing for years, and it’s really not paying off like we imagined. In fact, we’re still driving around a beat up truck and renting some space. Perhaps some more offspring from Mr. Gary will help us out – they seem to be pretty darn valuable. (Oh yeah. We forgot to mention Mr. Gary’s ex-fling doesn’t have a job, either. And, Mr. Gary has a wife. Oops. I’m guessing she’s not too happy about the settlement, or the affair, or the new kids in the fam.)

Either way, Mr. Gary’s doing all right. His law firm, which recently employed former Atlanta Mayor Bill Campbell, has three posh offices and owns two jets, including a 32-passenger Boeing 737 outfitted with an 18-karat gold sink and a $1.2 million sound system.The judge isn’t too happy about the $28,000 amount, we learned. But when a guy makes $1 million a month, isn’t it all in perspective? We figured out, if we make $30,00 a year and used the same Mr. Gary scale, this is what we’d be paying each month: $70.We think Mr. Gary will be just fine, and no matter what, we’ll still be here sharing a backyard with a chain smoker. We hope the judge understands that.***

Catherine Cockburn, of Breckenridge, sent in some good advice based on a previous Summit Up item about static electricity.She writes, “Your article on static electricity struck a chord with me as only yesterday I reached toward the fan knob on our gas fireplace in an attempt to increase the warmth of our living area during sub-zero temperatures. The resulting lightning bolt would have rivaled those issuing forth from the fingers of the evil Emperor as he zapped poor Luke Skywalker into a quivering, drooling shadow of his former heroic self.”I’ve experienced static electricity many times before but have never witnessed such a huge and long bolt (several inches) and certainly never during daylight hours. My fingertip is still tingling.”You make a good point – could we harness this electrical source? Could scientists invent light switches that can capture our static electrical charges and send them back along the power lines into the power grid? Does static electricity cause a built up of greenhouse gases? Could we earn “green” points for providing free electricity or get a cut in our own power bills? And if not, just where can I buy anti-static angora slippers?

“As to preventing static electricity shocks, a trick I learned many years ago is to run your hand through your hair before touching power outlets. This puts a coating of oil on your fingertips and somehow confuses those pesky electrons and protons so that you don’t get the “shock.” It is particularly efficacious if you haven’t washed your hair for some days. Of course the real “trick” is in remembering to do this before approaching any electrical outlets with evil intent in their eyes.”Thanks, Catherine. We’ll keep that in mind.***It’s Sunday, and our novel today is called, “Waiting in line in West Denver.” Send us an e-mail to We’re out …

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