Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering what the people at Sports Illustrated were thinking. Maybe the better query is what body part they were thinking with, because it certainly wasn’t located in the cranium. One of our correspondents woke up on Feb. 14 ready to celebrate Valentine’s Day with his sweetheart. He meandered down to his PO Box, opened the tiny door and found a great surprise inside – the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Wait. Listen. Do you hear that record scratching in the background? If you’re female you do. The joy of the swimsuit issue’s arrival was tempered by the realization that Feb. 14 is the day of love. Valentine’s love, we think, should be non-objective. Love without boundaries. Love that can’t be contained in a very nice example of the female form. Sure, people give their sweeties lingerie, but when most people talk about their Valentine, it’s not in the context of the swimsuit issue. With a little better timing, we’d go as far as calling the Sports Illustrated people tricksters. Wing people, if you will. Say you were in a relationship where looking at pictures of the opposite sex in nothing but swimsuit skivvies was not approved of. Sports Illustrated provides a technicality – or a technical foul, if you’re the one with your panties in a bunch. Either way, you can receive innocent news about all of America’s favorite pastimes for 55 issues and still sneak in a little skin on that fateful day in February when lovely ladies fill the pages of a reputable sports journalism source. Say, we’re thinking about having a Summit Up swimsuit issue for both sexes, and dogs too, because anything with pets seems to go over pretty well in this column. We’re just thinking, now, mind you. St. Patrick’s Day is coming up and we wouldn’t want our swimsuit issue to hit newsstands on another potentially dangerous day of celebration. We envision our friends, the O’Someones, on St. Paddy’s Day. They’re ready to participate in the wearing of the green and may even get a little luck of the Irish if things go well in the evening. But then they open Page 11, see some good lookin’ leprechaun in lace, and things go down the drain. We’re staying away from holiday politics. Talk around the Thanksgiving turkey has always given us enough trouble. ***We’re out, eating our curds and whey. Drop us a line at email@example.com if the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue ruined your lovefest.
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