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Summit Up


Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s still a little weirded out by the recent trend toward personalized advertising, as in cell phone text message ads that are sent directly to us, name and all, by a computer or person who knows way more about us than we are comfortable with. And this trend extends far beyond the ethereal realm of cell phones. One of our staffers reports that he got a brand new razor in the mail the other day, along with a personalized card inviting him to try this little technological marvel. We know this comes from using a discount supermarket card, and we don’t like the fact that someone is tracking our purchases and using that information to send us unwanted “samples.” Of course what they don’t know is that this particular staffer wears a beard, and is thus not going to put razor purchases high on the list of priorities.It’s not like our staffer can’t use the razor. There’s always the need for a little evening-up of the whiskers, so to say. And as far as razors go, it looks like an especially nice one, designed for the 21st century, all sleek and with little knobs and grippy things, an ergonomic handle and snazzy modern colors. In fact, we may well take it for a test shave some day, if we can ever get it off the cardboard backing and out from under the plastic bubble it’s hiding beneath. It looks so high-tech that we’re actually afraid that this thing might just up and start itself up in the middle of the night and start shaving things all on its own, and we’re not down with that at all. A little trim around the neckline and the ears is fine, but that’s as far as it goes.What bugs us is that we just really don’t want to get unsolicited stuff in the mail. If we want a razor we’ll go out and buy one, thank you very much. And we don’t want some giant worldwide marketing conglomerate passing out information on how often we buy shaving cream. It just ain’t right!***Moving on, we want to send out a big old rock and roll birthday greeting to former Black Sabbath lead guitarist Tommi Iommi, who just turned 59. Rock on, dude! Think about it, people, Tommi Iommi is 59. Man, he qualifies for AARP membership. Kinda scary, isn’t it. And another shout-out to Nicolaus Copernicus, the godfather of modern astronomy, who first proposed the “heliocentric” theory of the solar system. That means he figured out that Earth goes around the sun, and not the other way ’round, described by our friend the Wikipedia as a “central and defining epiphany in the history of all science.”How’s that for a claim to fame? And for his troubles, Copernicus was branded a heretic by the religious establishment, the right-wingers of his day. He got the same treatment that today’s global warming scientists have experienced in recent years, namely political pressure to make scientific fact fit political dogma. Will we ever learn?***We out, playing “War Pigs” on air guitar.

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