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Summit Up

Linda Walmslely plays the washboard as her band, Amazing Zydematics help get the party started for Fat Tuesday.

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up the world’s only daily column that recently learned having heartburn during pregnancy means your baby will likely come out with rock star hair.Apparently, researchers at Johns Hopkins University conducted a study to prove the theory wrong that women who suffer from heartburn will have babies with full heads of hair. Instead, they found it was true. The two are possibly linked because of some hormone thing, we hear.So, now, we’re wondering, what are the benefits of this study? Do we really need to know how much hair to anticipate in advance? And won’t this take away the fun of the surprise?After all, hair is a hot topic after birth. We mean, how often have you heard someone say enthusiastically, “And look at that full head of hair.” Because of this study, they may be taking a different tone and saying something like, “Yeah, yeah. After all that complaining of heartburn we’d expect your baby to have a ridiculous amount of hair.”See, it just doesn’t sound as fun. We’re very concerned about the implications of this study.

Also, now we feel like we should call our mom and ask about the condition of our hair at birth. It’s never seemed like an important topic before, but we need to know just how much heartburn we inflicted on our cute, little mother.***And speaking of being born, we need to send out a gigantic birthday wish to Marissa Dungey, a law student in Boston visiting Summit County for the first time this week. She is a whooping 25 years old today and is ready to party like a rock star.Happy birthday girl!***Moving on, for those of you who were left in suspense about Wednesday’s Evolutionary Reject Contest sent in by Dan Streeter, here is the winner:

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the constipated beast unloaded on him. “The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,” said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.***Next we have a quickie Angel Alert!!, from this past snow weekend:

Katy wants to thank Doug of Clearwater for helping clear snow out of people’s driveways on Peak 7. She says that the work is “so much appreciated!”***And lastly, the Summit High School Nordic Team would like to bestow these Angel Alerts!! to: Under Sheriff Derek Woodman and Sgt. Rachael Dunaway of the Summit County Sheriff’s Office. They made it possible for the team to get over Vail Pass last Friday for the State Championships.Karen Perkins wrote, “You can’t imagine how much your act of kindness meant to all of us – hope our results made you proud!!!”***We out, eating Girl Scout cookies.

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