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Summit Up


Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with an awesome travel deal for you women out there.How does this sound? Your own island, free from the constraints of men, free to be who you really are – all woman, all the time …Imagine, all public transportation, all restaurants, all vacation facilities … all staffed entirely by women. It’s a testosterone-free paradise, a modern-day Amazon wonderland, the Indigo Girls’ dream vacation spot …Yeah, ummm, this dream is real – unfortunately the women-only tourist destination we speak of is in Iran.You won’t need to pack that new bikini or pair of Reefs, however, because the dress code on the island (as in the rest of medieval Iran) requires women wear a full-length chador, which literally means “tent,” and a headscarf that – thankfully! – covers all of your beautiful features.We dudes just couldn’t handle it if – Allah forbid – we saw your ankles. Don’t know if we could control ourselves.Sure, you’ll have to lounge on the beach dressed head to toe in black, but wouldn’t a vacation away from all the men in the world be worth it?To take advantage of this offer, all you’ll need to do is defy a U.S. State Department travel ban, cover yourself completely, make your way to Iran, and – oh, yeah – sacrifice any personal dignity you and your gender may have developed over the entire history of civilization.***We’ve got a quick Charity Shout-Out!! to award. It seems part-time Silverthorne resident Howard Carver will chair an important gala in his home state of Connecticut. Carver will be the Ball Chair at the 2007 Promise Ball, hosted by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation in May. Carver is the parent of an adult son with type 1 diabetes, and he’s doing what he can to find a cure for the disease.Way to go, Howard …***Finishing up today, we though we’d share some more of George Carlin’s “New Rules” … these totally rule.New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days – mowing my lawn.New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.***We out, sewing a stylish new burka.

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