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Summit Up

SUMMIT UPSummit County, CO Colorado

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column thinking we’ve uncovered the latest technology – or fraud, depending on who you ask.We got a fax – yes a fax – from Skyfler Inc., who is promoting the latest flying aircraft. But this time, it’s usable by you and I, or so they say.Skyfyer said the first protoype flight will happen in the “near future” and that the patent is being considered by many countries.Here’s how it works: The Skyflyer is about 13-feet long and 13-feet wide, and weighs about 700 kg. Four horizontal rotators are driven by specialty aircraft engines, which will take the craft up to 60 km/h and through the sky at the rate of a foot a second. Video game lovers should be the ones to pilot this, as it’s joystick controlled. And as the press notice says, “It’s never been attempted!”Which brings us to the fine print down at the bottom of the release, which puts a damp rag on our flying car excitement. It reads: “This information was just to provide awareness of the company.” It also says the information is not guaranteed to be accurate or complete.So, what aren’t they telling us? That the Skyfler is a pipe dream invented in 1950? Seat-belts aren’t ready? State Farm won’t insure it? What else? It’s not iPod compatible? … To steal the attitude from the bratty little girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, “We want our flying car, and we want one now.”***We also share the following, submitted by Rob Cooper, who sort of cooked up his own backyard political analogy …”I bought a bird feeder a few months ago. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. “Then came the bird poop. “It was everywhere: On the patio tile, the chairs, the table…everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. …”After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. “Soon, the back yard was like it used to be … quiet, serene and no birds ‘demanding’ their rights to a free meal. “Now let’s see … our government gives out to illegal immigrants free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here illegally to automatically be an American citizen. “Then the illegals came by the millions. …”You get where he’s going. He wants the government to remove the bird feeder.***Moving on … well, not quite. Rob’s letter had us wincing a wee bit, as we like to think of immigrants as people, not animals. But we think we have an idea for Rob – a way to have a little fun with those operators asking us whether we speak English or Spanish. For example, you can answer, “Inglés.” This tends to get the operator scratching their head … and also, we think it’s funny to push 2 for Spanish. When we always hack the Spanish up, they send us back to the English operator, who ends up quite confused about why we pushed “2” … or “dos.””No hablo español,” we say.Then, they usually hang up.***It’s Wednesday, and we’re hoping your Hump Day goes smoothly. E-mail us at summitup@summitdaily.com.


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