Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is a little dumbfounded today, but ready to unfurl the banner of chivalry and mount our trusty steeds in defense of an American tradition that is apparently on its last legs. We don’t often tackle social issues in this space, preferring to explore the nonsensical and whimsical side of life, but every now and then, something just gets us all jacked up. Just call us Don Quixote. Anyone wanna volunteer as loyal sidekick?We’re talking about Ladies Nights, those “special” evenings, when pubs and watering holes of all ilk offer special deals to the fairer sex in hopes of attracting plenty of women, under the theory that, wherever the women go, the men won’t be far behind. We’re not sure how this works exactly since we don’t get out all that much, but we aim to change that and visit a few Ladies Nights in the near future, just so as we can say, “We were there” at the passing of a great American tradition.OK, here’s what know. We made a little field trip down to Boulder over the weekend, just to keep in touch with the Peoples Republic, and while sitting peacefully on a bench along the Pearl Street mall, minding our own business and perusing Westword, we stumbled across an article that nearly made us snort our smoothies through our noses and all over ourselves. And by the way, what is it with laptops and coffee shops? We were hanging out near one popular roasted bean emporium, and every single person, no exceptions, was staring into an electronic screen. We’re thinking they must have had some kind of promotion going down, “Buy a latte, get a laptop.” We digress. It seems that the Colorado Civil Rights Commission has declared that Ladies Nights are in violation of the state’s public accommodations law, which prohibits discrimination based on a whole slew of things, including gender. Some bars are already talking about changing their promotions based on the ruling, so as to avoid lawsuits, like giving both men and women discounts on drinks if they arrive before a certain time. So instead of “Ladies Night,” it would be “Early Bird” night. Doesn’t really have the same cachet, does it?Our first thought was that things must be pretty peachy-keen in this great republic of ours, the dragons of social injustice long-slain and consigned to the ash heap of history, if the civil rights commission has the time and energy to concern itself with happy hour drink prices.But then we delved a little deeper and saw that this whole thing was started by some guy from Minnesota who has taken it upon himself to launch a crusade against Ladies Nights all over the place. The ruling by the civil rights commission was in response to a complaint from this individual. Turns out this fella is recently divorced (according to Westword), so we don’t want to seem judgmental, but wonder if he’s holding some sort of grudge. If so, we say let it go and move on, dude. We think we can relate to how it feels to be on the receiving end of the matrimonial shaft. We know it must be disappointing when you do the whole ring thing, and the “through sickness and health … ’til death do us part” mantra and it turns out it was just a bunch of yada-yada to the other person, but that’s no reason to go off half-cocked and spoil everyone else’s fun, is it? We here at Summit Up HQ are all about sensitivity and fairness, but we think this may going just a bit too far, and we are concerned, VERY concerned, about this trend. Send us your ideas as to what might be a good, gender-neutral promotion to replace Ladies Night and we’ll be sure to pass that info along to our favorite publicans. You can reach us at email@example.com 24-7, and be sure to let us know where the best Ladies Night in town is. …
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