Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that needs to meet an escort.
Now, before our good readers start accusing us of soliciting “hired hands,” which would definitely be a crime, let us explain: We’ve been following in the papers the case of the alleged Aspen “madame,” Elizabeth Anne Koeppel. She pleaded guilty Monday to prostitution, but prosecutors had charged her with felony pimping (which, by the way, has to be the coolest-sounding crime we’ve ever heard of; we’re surprised some hep-cat hasn’t turned it into a T-shirt logo).
Well, we’ve always wondered about such operations here in Summit Up Land. In case you’ve never looked (and, honest, we hadn’t looked either until it came up at work – honest), there are seven escort services listed in our county’s phone book. Yep, read it again: seven.
We even did a little legwork and connected with a guy who runs such an operation in Denver and he gave us the lowdown on the biz. But, what we really want is to find some escorts up here to tell us what it’s all about in the High Country. And, for some strange reason, the corporate muckety-mucks over here in the Upside-down Dishwasher Building have a problem with us just calling up a service, making a date and putting it all on an expense account report (O, how they kill our journalistic spirit!).
So, consider this an invitation: If you are someone, or know someone, who might be able to help out on this story, give us a shout. You know the drill: email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or sing Blondie’s “Call me” on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237.
Michael Hipps is the recipient of this Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!!, and not just because he has the coolest business card we’ve ever heard (it lists his title as “President and Supreme Commander”). Michael runs Mountain Striping, and if you were around the Breckenridge library Tuesday, you probably saw him putting down new lines in the parking lot. The library staff called and said Michael deserves to have a wing-and-halo set because he volunteered to paint the lot after the county had to trim the budget, eliminating funds for the work.
That’s what community’s all about, Michael. You are hereby angelized and, if you ask nicely, we bet you can get off on some of those overdue book fines, too.
Want to know why you’re paying $1.50 a gallon for gas? It’s not because Saddam Hussein burned up all the oil. It’s not because OPEC’s cutting production. It’s because the gas companies want you to pay that much. An interesting Congressional report came out Monday, indicating that due to the increasing mergers between oil companies and refineries, and thanks to their just-shy-of-violating-antitrust-policies, they’re controlling supplies to the point it affects prices.
Most of the mindless consumers out there will shrug this off, even as they complain about it costing $50 to fill up the tank in their SUV, but we’re sure our good readers and resistance-minded field agents will do their research and check out the Senate Permanent Investigations Subcommittee’s 396-page report released by Michigan’s democratic Sen. Carl Levin.
Just doing our civic duty to inform you, you know.
Today’s password is “felony mac daddy.” Who’s yours?
We’re out changing the prices on the gas station billboards while the clerks ain’t lookin’ …
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