Summit Up 2-12-11: Enjoying love notes and piranha dinners in Breckenridge | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 2-12-11: Enjoying love notes and piranha dinners in Breckenridge

by Summit Up
Earth
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s still suffering the after-effects of a particularly combustible comestible we inadvertently concocted one recent winter’s night. We were too lazy to go to the store, see, and all’s we had was a cup of gherkin pickle juice, about a shot’s worth of Clamato, roughly an eyedropper full of Gran Marnier and half a dozen jalapeno-flavored Pringles. So we tossed it all in a bowl, poured some molasses on top (that’s all we had in the pantry) and tossed it in the microwave.

It blew up, of course, ruining not only our dinner, our kitchen and our rental deposit but resulting in the submission of our deed to the annual Darwin Awards (thanks a lot, Steve Lipsher PR-guy for the fire department!)

As such, we’re too busy mopping up today to write a column, so we turn it over to our readers – who’ve sent in some great Valentine’s Day stuff for starters.

From Karen Musolf and Joan Estelle from the Summit Historical Society we have:

Love defined: A Victorian Valentine

As Valentines’ Day approached one hundred years ago a young Breckenridge girl, signing herself as “XY,” submitted some clever definitions of “love” to a column “The Weekly Gossip,” then found in the Summit County Journal.

Alimony: The wages of sin.

Bachelor Girl: One who has tried to get a husband and can’t.

Bachelor: A body of egotism surrounded by indigestion, bounded on the west by selfishness and on the east by a doting mother.

Flirtation: The fringe around the edge of love.

Husband: A necessary evil. A dinner decoration. An automatic cash register.

Kiss: A physiological demonstration of a psychological condition.

Marriage: An accident. The first step toward divorce.

Proposing: A lost art. An ancient custom out of fashion except in small villages.

Wedding Presents: Goods obtained under false pretenses. Graft.

Wife: A combination cooker, charmer, stocking darner, companion, nurse and angel.

One wonders how readers of the Summit Daily would define these terms today.

Wow! Strong stuff! Thanks ladies!

***

Next up we have some thoughts from the little ones at Little Red Schoolhouse, sent in by Greta McCormick. The kids were asked “What does love mean to you” and the responses were:

“Hugging and taking bike and train rides together”

-Girl, age 5

“When you really like someone”

-Girl, age 5

“You love someone that gives so much love to you”

Girl, age 5

“That boys sing songs about girls”

Girl, age 3

“High-fives, peanut butter and jelly, and sharing and caring”

-Boy, age 4

“Love is reading stories”

-Boy, age 3

“Love is to give someone a flower and make them look beautiful”

-Girl, age 5

“Love … I love kissing (insert boys name) … we’re already married … he gave me a ring”

-Girl, age 5

And our personal favorite:

“Love … hahahahahahaha”

-Boy, age 5

***

And then there’s this from Robin Johnson in Breckenridge, who writes thusly:

I don’t know if this constitutes an Angel alert, but I have to give a high-five to the clever guy on the phone at the Whale’s Tail on Thursday night …

So there I was, driving down Breckenridge Main Street with the kids in the back of the car on a busy Thursday evening. After passing The Whale’s Tail, my daughter and son started bickering over the absurd possibility of them serving piranha or not. Eventually they began harassing me about the likelihood of the restaurant’s menu featuring fanged fish when I snapped: “LOOK you two, if you don’t believe me then YOU can call the Whale’s Tail and ask them yourselves.”

Moments later I could hear giggling and beeps from the rear seat followed by a voice on the speakerphone; “Hello, Whale’s Tail how may I help you?”

“Gimmie that phone!” I hissed.

My daughter asked in her squeaky third grade voice: “Hello – um, do you serve piranha?”

“Corona?” the voice asked

“No, Piraaaaanha”

“What?”

“Um the fish, you know piranha” she whispered, uncertainly suppressing a nervous giggle.

“Piranha?”

“Um … yes?”

“Look, when you make a prank call it’s best if the other person can actually hear you” said the thoroughly amused voice … “and sure, we serve piranha. We saute it with shallots and garlic in a lovely white wine reduction sauce over long grain wild rice accompanied by vegetable du jour. It’s so fresh that you can catch it yourself if you like, or if you prefer, we can catch it for you.”

Both kids sat frozen in the seat, stunned, mouths open and speechless. My daughter was holding the phone as if it was an explosive device.

Without missing a beat the voice continued; “Can I make you a reservation or help you with anything else?” His grin was audible.

“Uh … no” she stuttered, “th-thank you.”

At this point I had to pull over and let loose a burst of pent-up laughter that felt marvelous. The kids were still peeping at me uncertainly from the back seat. It was at least five minutes before I was able to regain my composure and by then we all had tears streaming down our faces.

Thank you Whale’s Tale guy. You are my hero.

Well, Robin, we have it on good authority that the person on the other end of the phone was none other than Leland Turner, the manager of the Whale’s Tail also known as “Captain Extreme.”

So there you have it.

We out.

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