Summit Up 2-16-11: Your one-stop shop for Melville, Partridge Family, J. Geils and Jerry Jeff Walker allusions | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 2-16-11: Your one-stop shop for Melville, Partridge Family, J. Geils and Jerry Jeff Walker allusions

Summit Daily/Mark Fox
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s already pushing the dog-poop bitch season here in mid-February.

Yep, every year – usually starting in April – we start getting the e-mails and phone calls from folks who are justifiably angry that canine colons were allowed to run rampant all winter long – presumably enabled by selfish, lazy and moronic dog owners (and you know who you are, and we don’t mind the harsh words!) who seem to think the snow will hide all this fecal evil ’til doomsday or spring – whichever comes first.

But like all skeletons stuffed in the closet, errant turds are always going to make their presence known at some point. We’re not sure if it’s the recent warm weather that had someone from Summit Cove calling us to bitch or what, but this is a big ol’ Scum Alert! Scum Alert! to dog owners who are letting their pooches poop with wanton abandon in the meadow behind Whispering Pines ranch. You suck! Pick it up! It’s that simple!



Sheesh.

***



We love news from the folks down at the Colorado Gators Reptile Park down near the sand dunes – especially when it’s something like the announcement of Mr. Bo Mangles Day, which is this Friday. Yep, if you happen to be down that way, you can get free admission from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. in honor of the first-year anniversary of the arrival of Mr. Bo Mangles, the only albino alligator in Colorado. There are only about 50 albino gators in existence, and this one day per year Mr. Bo Mangles is taken out of his habitat to be measured and weighed.

Who knew???

Anyway, this is a fun place to go visit if you want to get out of Dodge. But if you’re curious about it and not planning a trip to Mosca anytime soon, check out Rocky Mountain Gators on Animal Planet Feb. 17 and 21. Near as we can tell, it’s a show all about the reptile park.

The one thing we will say about these gators, from when we last saw them more than 10 years ago, is that you can’t expect too many fireworks from these critters. Now, we know everyone wants to see gators doing what we love to see them do: chomp zebras as they try (foolishly) to cross the river. But let’s face it, zebras are in short supply in southern Colorado, and even if they were available, you’d probably have zebra lovers up in arms if you were throwing them to the alligators every day. Same goes for any of the other critters gators like: hippos, wildebeests, Thompson’s gazelles, miniature schnauzers, guinea pigs, pygmy marmosets, onagers, bonabos, wolverines and the occasional brace of ptarmigan.

Gators also love Cheetos, we hear, but they just don’t react to the chomping like, say, a miniature schnauzer would.

Anyway, for more info check out

http://www.coloradogators.com.

***

It being mid-February, we heard some stuff about romance, love and the like from a variety of sources. But one of the most interesting came from one of our kids in the back of the car on Valentine’s Day night. When asked about what love and all that really meant, he offered this:

“Love is when a girl uses a guy to get a bunch of money and play poker.”

Wow – pretty jaded for a 9-year-old! But he was annoyed when, after crafting a custom, heart-felt Valentine for his honey, she responded with a regular ol’ store-bought like every other kid in the class got.

Ouch! As J. Geils once said, young feller, “Love stinks!”

Sometimes.

***

Holy crap we have a lot of space to fill today! We never quite know what the page builders are going to send us. See, time was, the page builder person was right here in our office, and when they gave us a page like this we’d walk over and hit them over the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Then, they migrated over to our printing facility in Gypsum (a funny little town in the nether region between Vail and Glenwood), and it got harder to hit them over the head with a newspaper – or anything else. Still, they were close enough that they knew if they screwed up the layout too much, we could conceivably drive over and raise hell. Then, the Powers That Be moved all of that stuff from Gypsum to some place called Carson City, Nevada. We don’t know these people anymore, but we imagine a large room filled with Bartleby the Scrivener types (read your Melville for that obtuse allusion) chained to their computers doing newspaper-y stuff. Ever since then, they’ve been sending us Summit Up holes that range from Grand Canyon-sized to teeny-tiny things that can barely hold 10 paragraphs.

This is one of the Grand Canyon days, which is why our fingers are getting tired coming up with crap to say. If you’ve stayed with us this far, gentle reader, we admire your stamina. But now we’re just going to check out by filling the rest with lyrics from old Partridge Family songs.

See ya.

hello world heres a song that were singing

come on get happy

a whole lot of loving is what we’ll be bringing

we’ll make you happy

we have a dream we’ll go traveling together

we’ll spread a little loving and we’ll keep moving on

something always happens whenever were together

we get a happy feeling when were singing a song

traveling along theres a song that were singing

come on get happy

a whole lot of loving is what we’ll be bringing

we’ll make you happy

we’ll make you happy

we’ll make you happppyyyyyy

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa

I’m sleeping

And right in the middle of a good dream

Like all at once I wake up

From something that keeps

Knocking at my brain

Before I go insane

I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed

Screaming out the words I dread

I think I love you

(I think I love you)

This morning

I woke up with this feeling

I didn’t know how to deal with

And so I just decided to myself

I’d hide it to myself

And never talk about it

And did not I go and shout it

When you walked into the room

I think I love you

(I think I love you)

I think I love you

So what am I so afraid of?

I’m afraid I’m not sure of

A love there’s no cure for

I think I love you

Isn’t that what life is made of?


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