Summit Up 2-28-11
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that was fancying ourselves in $1,000 evening gowns walking the red carpet along with the stars last night.
Minus the cruel commentary of the pundits, of course. Because if we were in the stars’ shoes, trying to stand out like a gem in the mud instead of a bad skier under the lift line, we’d probably try something edgy, too.
Like peacock feathers on a dark green, slinky and strappy dress that’s tied together with a black empire waistband. Don’t forget the feathers in the hair piece!
That was our own crazy idea.
But let’s dig up some of the fun ones we’ve seen recently – like Jennifer Lopez’s 2010 World Music Awards leopard-print chiffon dress that was, to say the least, revealing in the cleavage area.
Or singer Bjork’s swan gown worn in 2001. Was it walking around before you killed it and wrapped it around your neck, Bjork?
Last year, Vera Farmiga wrapped herself in frilly ribbon to cover up as she dashed to her limo on the way to the Oscars – or so it seemed in her iridescent magenta garb.
And what about that year Geena Davis showed up with half her dress missing? She looked a lot like a black-and-white caterpillar.
For more Oscar fashion faux pas, check out NBC’s analysis at http://bit.ly/fXe8n7. We did. It’s funny.
So, admittedly, we’re definitely fans of the post-Oscar analysis on E! and TV Guide – where everyone walking the red carpet has to get their two cents in on how amazingly, or awfully, dressed everyone was.
Which leads us to a Summit Up reader who was not at all interested in watching the Oscars last night. In some ways, we don’t blame him. Though, at the very least, we enjoyed the wine and cheese party we had in front of the TV.
“For my part, it’s not indifference of even lack of intellectual curiosity but actually a scheduling conflict that prevents me from watching,” said reader Ric Wilkins.
For him, it was a competition between the famed awards, three intriguing sporting events, “The Cleveland Show” and a “Dukes of Hazard” marathon on the Country Music Channel.
“WWJD – what would Jethro do? All head to head with Oscar,” Wilkins wrote. “Please excuse me, I have to get jiggy wid it and clean up the DVR. There’s an unwatched Lynyrd Sknyrd concert and Black-Eyed Peas concert on there.”
Wilkins also shared an interesting piece of advice to those walking the red carpet Sunday night. He learned it Sunday morning and couldn’t resist passing it along.
“Advice to Academy Awards invitees courtesy of the often entertaining Cintra Wilson: ‘The clever stars would be wise to follow those who have gone before and not commit these mistakes. If you wear a strapless dress do be sure your decollate is properly assembled beforehand by a licensed cleavage engineer so that your front doesn’t shift around all night like a sack of wet kittens.
“‘If considering a wardrobe malfunction do consider that the improper use of double-sided nipple tape is a federal offense. You may believe that Hollywood is the home office of social conscience but consider that your gown should not be used as a platform for social consciousness.
“‘You are a movie star not a minivan. If you wear bumper stickers, decomposing cabbage, cold cuts, blood-spattered flags or crime scene tape you are merely begging for abuse from the tabloids (not to mention those clever Summit Up miscreants). All your audience wants is for you to wear a Valentino gown made of unborn ballerina fur and a Harry Winston chandelier.”
“Ms. Wilson went on say James Franco “has enough star power to stabilize uranium” but should shave. Grazi Cintra for your sage advice, you da’ person!”
We hope you enjoyed the show and wish you a happy Monday!
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