Summit Up 2-9-11: Showing up at the dentist with dragon breath |

Summit Up 2-9-11: Showing up at the dentist with dragon breath

Look who's 18 today! The world is your oyster, Marguerite!! Love you so very much, Mom & Dad.

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s wondering what the hell to do with this stupid espresso maker someone gave us. Seriously, unless you have some kind of mega-sized kitchen – with all kinds of counter space and fancy cabinets that have little drawers that slide out to produce your stand mixer, bread maker, fondue set and, yes, espresso machines – there’s no way to handle these kinds of “extra” appliances, in our view. Sure, in our dreams we’d have a cool espresso machine, and when people came over we’d suavely ask if they’d like a cappuccino or something. But in practice? To hell with those things!And what about George Foreman grills? We’ve heard mixed reviews on these things. Some swear by them as a way to have grilled stuff in the middle of winter. Others (like us, even though we don’t own a George Foreman grill and are wholly unqualified to weigh in on said appliance) believe it’s just one other thing we’ll shove in the closet somewhere and, when someone says: “Hey, this would be a great time to use the George Foreman …” we would think about it and hem and haw and, ultimately, settle for a pepperoni-sauerkraut Hot Pocket that we pop in the microwave to consume later in a fog of sitcom-induced couch inertia.Where were we? Never mind … speaking of sauerkraut. We received a letter from a local dentist who shall remain unnamed. This local dentist is a great guy, but he has one flaw: He either doesn’t know how to use e-mail or he does and can’t be bothered. So he faxes stuff to us, which we then have to type in!(sounds of disgust, incredulity)And yes, we know this sounds peevish of us, but to put the coin on the other foot (pardon our mixed metaphor), what if we showed up at the dentist’s office for a cleaning after having just consumed an entire bulb of garlic, a vat of sauerkraut and a couple cans of Alpo washed down with a liter of Clamato, a pint of soy milk and a shot of Worcestshire sauce.? Oh, and then we licked a dirty ashtray.E-mail starting to sound pretty good now, eh doc?We jest, of course. We’ll happily type in any stuff the e-mail challenged send us. We know eventually karma will get them …Happy Wednesday, folks.We out.

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