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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks we need to go back to the era of dogsleds, horse-drawn sleighs and extreme rickshaws.

We say “go back to” like there was ever a time when people were doing those things. Oh well. We need to make an era in which people get around via those conveyances.

See, we were looking at the pictures of that pileup on I-70 Monday, thinking it’s really only going to get worse. The guys at the Eisenhower Tunnel keep sending us record-

breaking traffic numbers every year, and eventually the highway’s going to look like that scene in the R.E.M. video where everybody just gets out of their cars and walks away.

Not long after looking at those accident photos, we were driving down Highway 9 (not quite bumper-to-bumper traffic, but it was thick enough, and snowy and dangerous enough, too, that we were thinking there’s got to be a better way).

And then it hit us: Summit Up Land has, like, two dogs for every person around here. And people love animals in general. Why don’t we rip up all this pavement (which we could use to extend the roads and docks for the marinas, or just dump in the lake to raise the water level) and start using dogsleds and sleighs?

Yeah, it would take a little longer to get from Silverthorne to Frisco. But it’s not like anyone in Summit Up Land shows up for anything on time to begin with.

Think about it: No more emissions (except for buses – we’d let them keep running), no more parking problems, and everyone would be a lot mellower and thrilled about their lives because they’re spending more time with animals and they get to see the county a little more.

In the summer, we’ll have all these body-Nazi extreme athletes training by pulling rickshaws. Dogsleds won’t work, and we’ll have to convert the sleighs to wagons, but it should still work all right.

But no, you people are far too attached to your cars. You would feel as though your independence was being threatened. And you’re far too happy paying for maintenance, insurance and gas and perpetuating an economic model that pollutes the Earth and leads to war and violence.

It’s OK, we understand. We’re the silly ones for thinking people should ride around in dogsleds.


Cody Moguin stopped by to pick up his Pottypalooza T-shirt, and the staffers in the office made him write a couple haikus to collect it:


Ramblin’ down the interstate

Honk! Honk! “Don’t squeeze me!”

Wafting in the breeze –

a morning discovery

unfurls from the boughs

Very nice, Cody! That second one made us snap our fingers and adjust our beret.

All of our verse-writing readers who haven’t sent all their poetry to us might want to try to cash in on a free poetry contest. The Celestial Arts poetry contest is offering a $1,000 grand prize. To enter, send one poem 21 lines or less: Celestial Arts, PO Box 1140, Talent, OR 97540. Or enter online at Be sure your name and address is on the page with your poem. The deadline for entering is March 7. A winners list will be sent to all entrants. Winning poems may be posted online.


Hey, it’s Friday, so rock out, get down, blow off some steam and let it all hang out. Just don’t get caught naked out in public. Trust us.

But if you do, write us all about it at, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just use your one phone call from the jail and describe the body search on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.

We’re out getting searched in airport security right now, actually …

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