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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that would have no idea what’s wrong with the radio stations here.

Joanne Kendall, of Murrysville, Penn., sent us an e-mail that said:

“Am I the only person in Summit County that thinks the music that Krystal 93 plays is funky? They play one song a day that I recognize. I have been coming to Summit County for the past 10 years and this is the only complaint that I have.



“How about someone local starting a campaign to get them to change their format. Some nice light rock like KOZI in Denver would be wonderful.”

First, on behalf of Krystal’s staff and their listeners here in Summit Up Land, let us say, Joanne, that if you like the radio selection in Denver, you should probably stay there. A great way to get cold shoulders here in the High Country is to tell people they need to be more like someplace else. Most of us came here because we didn’t like those places – including their radio stations.



As for your other questions, we have no idea what you’re talking about. The radio in The Duck (the truck we love to hate to love because it always seems to have something falling off it just when we need it) is broken. It’s been broken for about two years, and believe it or not, we’re much happier now when we drive. We sing to ourselves. It freaks out people in the cars beside us at traffic lights. It’s great.

(And now that we’re thinking about it, we forgot to mention we couldn’t shut the passenger door the other day, and we’re trying to get it closed while we’re driving because the sound of rushing air is driving us crazy – and we’ll admit, making us wish we had a radio to drown out the sound – so we slam the door shut and pull the handle off. We undoubtedly had one of those Wile E. Coyote looks on our faces, like when he realizes he’s stepped off the cliff or the anvil he launched with the slingshot is going to hit him.)

Anyway, what does Joanne mean by “funky”? We like funky music. We like it when radio stations play something we’ve never heard before. It’s called “expanding your horizons.” In fact, our major complaint about radio stations is that they play the same songs fifteen times a day for five years and still try to convince you in their ads that they play the “newest in music.” Don’t make us puke.

Are we ranting? Sorry. Must be the caffeine.

Joanne, our advice is invest in one of those new-fangled inventions – the tape deck. They even have these futuristic devices now called CDs. Check it out.

***

All you people lookin’ for love in all the wrong places (like Summit Up Land) have a chance to find it. Of course, as most men in Las Vegas discover, you’re going to have to pay for it.

The Summit County Chamber of Commerce is holding its annual bachelor/bachelorette auction and fund raiser on Monday. It’s going to be at the Salt Creek Saloon in Breck, and doors open at 6 p.m. Here’s a little preview of the “goods for sale”:

Bachelor No. 1

Name: Jim

Age: 43

Occupation: local news reporter

Interests: skiing, camping, hiking, biking – typical Summit County stuff

Package: skiing for two at Copper Mountain, dinner at Blue Spruce Inn, bottle of wine

Value: $225.00

Point of Interest: voted most eligible bachelor in Frisco

Bachelor No. 2

Name: Bruce

Age: won’t tell

Occupation: owner of a snowmobile company

Interests: loves to cook, snowmobile, ride horses; enjoys giving massages and cuddling

Package: snowmobiling for two, dinner at Ti Amo Restaurant

Value: $250.00

Point of Interest: quite the dancer

Bachelorette No. 1

Name: Dory

Age: she’s a woman – she won’t tell

Occupation: photojournalist and photographer

Interests: photography, dancing, cooking, hanging out with her dogs

Package: breakfast at Starbucks, skiing for two at A-Basin, dinner at a local Breckenridge restaurant

Value: $200.00

Point of interest: she’s new into town, so she doesn’t know your reputation

Bachelorette No. 2

Name: Desi

Age: 23

Occupation: ex-student

Interests: roller coaster enthusiast, Victoria’s Secret bra tester, avid wine connoisseur; likes cheap beer and a good time!

Package: skiing at A-Basin, followed by dinner in Breckenridge

Value: $200.00

Point of interest: 5-foot-9, 140 pounds, DDs

Start scraping together that ashtray change and cashing in your bonds, boys and girls. The bidding will surely skyrocket.

And if anybody wants to journalistically record the dates, we’ve always wanted to do a Summit Up take-off of Blind Date or Elimi-Date or Fifth Wheel or any of those dating shows.

***

It’s Sunday. You better be relaxing. If you’re not, try listening to the radio. We hear it’s funky.

We’re actually in Arizona right now, sunning ourselves on a rock …


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