April 1, 2009
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column thinking summery thoughts like: “Golly, we wonder how they come up with categories for what comprises ‘severe hail.'”
We know what you’re thinking: It’s snowing like crazy right now, why talk about hail?
Well, firstly it helps us think of summer, even if it is one of the gentle season’s more ornery aspects. But we’re also thinking of hail because we got a note about some changing categories from the National Weather Service. To wit:
“Over the next several months, across the United States the National Weather Service will be changing one of the Severe Thunderstorm Warning criteria; ‘Severe Hail’ size will change from 3/4 inch diameter to 1 inch diameter.”
Off the bat, we must first note that “Severe Hail” would not be a bad name at all for a metal band. Also, we wonder if this change means that hail is getting bigger, if 3/4-inch hail is no longer “severe.” According to this information, the date for severe hail size criteria change will be:
In Colorado: April 1, 2009
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In Utah: June 1, 2009
So it’s already happened here (and we are not fabricating this information as some sort of lame April 2 joke). So if you get hit in the noggin with a 3/4-inch piece of hail in Colorado on May 31, it will not be “severe.” However, if you cross the state line into Utah that day, the 3/4-inch hail stone that beans you will be, in fact severe. The next day in Provo, though ” not so severe. In fact, it will be labelled only “significant”:
“Significant hail is defined as ANY hail that could do damage or cause problems. Examples include: 1. a large accumulation of small hail (less than 1″ diameter) that makes driving difficult, or 2. strong wind-driven small hail that could cause damage to vegetation, such as commercial crops and gardens.”
Put that in your pipe and smoke it. And by the way, the criteria for “Severe Wind” intensity will remain unchanged at 58 mph.
Moving on …
We have a slightly aged Scum/Angel Alert here from JoAnn, who writes:
On St. Patty’s day, a spring breaker stole my three-month-old iPhone out of my coat pocket at Napper Tandy’s, used it, and then threw it away. Three days later I got a call at home from Matt, who works at Breckenridge Sports at Beaver Run, who found the phone in the dirt at Beaver Run. He managed to get in my phone and contact me, refused to take a reward, and was able to reset my phone. Such a nice young man.
Indeed, a thousand pointy arrows of bad karma to the butt-knocker who horked the iPhone and an equal amount of shiny karma points to Matt.
Here’s a needle-in-a-haystack alert from Lisa, who called to say that she lost a bracelet at Keystone or Breckenridge March 25. That narrows it down some, we guess. Anyway, it’s a gold bangle bracelet with diamonds, and if you find it there’s a reward. Call Lisa at (314) 570-4335.
So, you might have noticed that Wednesday’s paper had our annual kooky April Fool’s issue, and hopefully you find it at least mildly amusing. One piece we did had a picture of a tiny car, and our joke was that the State Patrol was looking to use it as the new cruiser. We got this awesome photo of an actual police car in Italy from alert reader Charles Pitman in Silverthorne, who writes:
I took the attached photo in Assisi, Italy last April. I told Mark and Cale at the Sheriff’s Office that I could probably design a nifty roof rack that would hold their ATV or snowmobile. For some reason, they aren’t real keen on the idea.
Plus, you’d have to strap prisoners to the roof as well, we’d imagine, which probably violates some crazy rule or another. Anyway, thanks for the photo, Charles!
We’ve got to run. We heard it’s a powder day …