April 15, 2009
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the worlds only daily column that is shocked shocked! at the stuff emerging from the snow as it melts. In addition to the usual 7,000 metric tonnes of dog poop and 900 bazillion plastic shopping bags, weve also seen things like 4,700 trail maps, several dozen gross of lip balms, a few hectares of cereal boxes as well as some more unusual things like Prussian field helmets with the spikes broken off, Masai spears (also broken), giant alpen horns (holes clogged with dirt) and a few dozen punctured bag pipes.Or was that all a dream? And why did we spell tons the British way? At this time of year, were so discombobulated by the changing seasons rain, snow, graupel, sun, wind, etc. that we cant figure out even what day of the week it is, much less why theres a Masai spear lying broken in the Arapahoe Basin parking lot of our subconscious.To make it worse, were enjoying a sunny morning as we write, and theres supposed to be a bunch more snow on the way. Big woop.Oh, sorry! That was our evil doppelganger writing there for a minute. With more ski season still on the calendar, we, as Ullr-fearin members of the mountain community, can only cheer snow, never despise it.Go snow. Yay.***Speaking of things we dont like, were tired of all the breakfast cereal in the world. As Huey Lewis & the News once sang a million years ago, I Want a New Drug”; so, too, are we warbling a new tune: We Want a New Flake!So we tried a new cereal the other day that wed heard of but never had before. It was called Honey Bunches of Oats, and it look sort of OK on the package: Lightly sweetened cereal with three kinds of flakes and crunchy oat clusters baked with a touch of honey. More big words on the box promised this: Honey roasted. And as if that werent enough, nine essential vitamins and minerals were thrown in, apparently at no extra charge.So we poured ourselves a bowl of this stuff, dumped some soy milk on it and tucked in. Thirty second later, with our teeth in shards all over the table, we concluded that this cereal was best consumed either by those with much stronger teeth than us. Norwegian rats, perhaps, or someone with some heavy-duty dental prostheses like that Jaws guy in that ancient James Bond film.This is some hard-ass cereal, folks! Holy crap! They should call it Honey Grommets of Indestructible Oat Bullion or something instead. We couldnt even tell if it tasted good because we were too busy making appointments with the orthodontist.And hells bells: We bought the family size.Live and learn.***We interrupt this public cereal rant to bring all those out in Summit Up land an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! Friscoite Sue Singer e-mailed the following report to the Corporate Suites: To the fine young clerk at the Frisco Radio Shack on April 11 who successfully downloaded the needed TaxCut update to disc for me after I still had not received the ordered disc (March 14, 09) by mail from H&R Block. With it I was finally able to finish and print my federal taxes that same day, four days before the filing deadline. Thanks so much for great customer service above and beyond the call of duty! Now thats what we call splendid Summit service. ***And speaking of the 900 bazillion plastic shopping bags that have began to rear their ugly heads. Have you cast your vote for the 2009 Green Scene Awards? The High Country Conservation Center is looking for nominations to a whole list of earth-friendly awards. Turn back to Page 5 in this very edition of the SDN to see the list. The deadline is Friday.***We out, getting a few last powder turns in for the season.