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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column sending a tribute to Tino Skip Sonday.

“On Feb. 10, my quarter horse and longtime saddle pal, Sonday, died unexpectedly,” wrote Polly Schwan of Frisco.” I would like to share some memories of a 20-year friendship that started back in the good ole days in Summit County.

“Sonday came to Summit County and me in 1983. At that time, we guided horseback rides at Swan Mountain Stables near Dillon. Before lawsuits and high-cost liability insurance, we could gallop the horses! We’d tell everyone to hang on and pull back to stop! What fun …



“Sonday raced in Montezuma Downs, a quarter-mile horse race down Montezuma’s gravel Main Street. After four years, we finally won!

“Sonday participated in many Frisco Fourth of July parades, winning “Moose Gang’ and Parade of Lights with friends B Casapulla and Briar Rose. There was a time we could hitch the horses up at the Moose Jaw.



“Sonday carried me to the highest peaks of Tenmile and Gore ranges, through sunshine, rain and lightning storms.

“Like the gold ole days, my Sonday mare is sadly missed. When my time comes, I hope she’ll be there, to carry me across …”

Wow. We’re touched. A moment of silence, please.

***

OK! We have some belated Valentine poems to share.

@) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you cause I was pissed.

4) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

L) I want to feel your sweet embrace,

But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.

£) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,

Marrying you screwed up my life.

î) I see your face when I’m dreaming,

That’s why I always wake up screaming.

And our personal favorite:

n) My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in, to smell this way?

What inspired these amorous rhymes? Two parts vodka, one part lime. Mmmm. Vodka tonic.

***

We just received our copy of the “Rest Room World” (Motto: If You Have the Room … We’ll Send You the Rest!) from which we can buy all kinds of toilet-room delights. You can indulge your senses with Time Mist, for people who want to “give visitors something special” when they visit the loo.

There’s the MORE CAPACITY! LESS FILLING! Euro dispenser, designed for when “hygiene is paramount.” We can’t help wondering what kind of condition would require cleanup of the paramount variety.

There’s Jumbo Jerry, Hollywood Harry, The Admiral, Barcelona Bob, Westchester Pump, Sink Top Steve, Mr. Free Flow, Roy’s Cranker, Rugged Ron, the lerator and Mr. Wide Bar, which makes us wonder if we are reading a bathroom supply catalog or a magazine of a whole “nother sort.

Can you imagine placing an order?

You: I’ll have two L.A. Specials, one Mr. Back-up, one King Carlos, three Mr. Doubles – no, make that four – an Exotic Andy, a Water Ram and a Mr. Turk’s Head.

Them: Uh, this is McDonald’s …

***

It has come to our attention that the United States is not allowed to use the term “missiles” when talking about our missiles because we’ve signed pacts and contracts saying we won’t possess or build missiles.

Instead, we’ll call them Airborne Warhead and Annihilation Delivery Services, or AWADS for short.

So, SAD-dam (translation: Wax the blue lobster with fungus straps), we might be sending an AWADS your way. Despite reservations from NATO, despite second thoughts from the EU, despite even consternation from the EPA, UFO, CIA and NSAA, a big fat AWADS might be what you’re eating for dinner. CYA.

***

We out hitchin’ our horses at the Moose Jaw.


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