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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that would rather have avalanches than tidal waves and tsunamis.

We’ve been doing plenty of cogitating on these snowy natural disasters, being as they’ve made the news here a bit. Our first thoughts turned to those European villages that, in recent years, have been completely buried by avalanches.

Fortunately, the miners who founded the towns of Summit Up Land weren’t so addled by light deprivation, snowblindness and bawdy house infections that they built our current pueblos under precipices likely to give way and come rolling down the mountain.



There are people who choose, for some reason, to live in such places, year after year, as if their memory span only lasts about 11 months.

Take our friends who live in



hurricane-prone areas. They always seems surprised that 100-mph winds come ripping through the trailer park every year at just about the same time they did the year before. Go figure.

On the Pacific side of things, they’ve got those underwater earthquakes that cause tidal waves and storms that bring tsunamis. The thing about those is, they’re so indiscriminate. At least with avalanches around here, they really only take out the dodos who go playing in them.

And so maybe that’s our point today: You reap what you sew. Or, better yet, you slide in prone snow.

***

Why is it that it only snows when we leave town? Why is it that we don’t decide to shovel the driveway (which, including our truck, was buried while we were gone) until the morning we have to go back to the office?

Oh, we may never answer these questions. Not until the backache muscle relaxers we took after shoveling all morning wear off, anyway.

***

Peter King is ticked off – and rightfully so. He sent us this Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! saying, “Some no good, dog-kicking weasel backed into my truck in the parking lot in front of High Altitude in Frisco. I was working at the time no more than 30 yards away. No note. No nothing.

“Obviously this person has no morals or conscience and deserves whatever bad things that happen to them as a result. What goes around comes around.”

True, true, Peter. See the above commentary on avalanches.

***

It’s Wednesday, and we’re out figuring out how to become a swami … Failing that, you’ll see us in line at Copper’s Storm King lift, cussing snowboaders. Wait, that’s us.


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