Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with what has to be the most interesting bit we’ve ever published.
Yes, we’re starting today’s column off with an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! But, it’s an Angel Alert! like no other we’ve ever published. These kudos, halos, wings, harps, good tidings and all that other jazz go out today to none other than Cell Block B of the Summit County Jail.
Dan called yesterday morning. He’d just spent three days in the Hoosegow Hotel in Breck. He said there was a water leak in one of the cells, so inmates called up “control” and let them know. As is standard procedure, the officers had all the “guests” take their places in their respective cells, locked them down with the touch of a button, and then officers headed back to inspect.
In the course of trying to locate and fix the leak, one of the sergeants unlocked and opened a door to a closet with all sorts of pipes. Dan says the sergeant then went back up front and later opened up all the inmates’ doors – with the keys to the whole jail sitting right there in the door.
Well, instead of organizing a massive jailbreak that would have made AC/DC proud, the inmates simply called back to control and told the officers they might want to come collect the keys.
A few observations: The Sheriff’s Office might be tempted to reprimand whichever officer this was. We’d encourage them to spare the rod – the way these inmates reacted is a testament to how they’re treated by officers. If they were getting hog-tied every night and called names, the inmates wouldn’t have been so nice.
Secondly, you gotta love Summit Up Land – where even the people in stripes can be honest. We’d encourage the captain to give you all an extra minute of handball in the courtyard.
But after all that trumpeting, sorry to report – we’ve got a Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!!
Carly in Breck said UPS delivered a Bow-Flex to her at Great Divide Furniture (somebody’s been watching too much TV!!!). The store was closed because of illness, however, so UPS left the big box out front. Extra points for you if you guessed: somebody came along and stole it. Somebody’s out two grand.
There is a reward for this item. So if you know some slimy klepto who also likes to stay in shape, call (970) 453-9087. Or you worthless (yet fit) punks can return it to UPS in Silverthorne or the furniture store (which is, by the way, at County Road 450 and Highway 9, across from 7-Eleven).
Send us your news, good or bad, to
firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just shout “Hear ye! Hear ye!” on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
We’re out sailing little boats in all the meltwater …
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