Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering about the allure of green beer.
It’s one thing to go out and pound several gallons of beer on St. Patrick’s Day, as did scores of revelers in Breckenridge Monday. It’s quite another to drink it with copious quantities of green food dye No. 392x. That can’t be good for you.
We didn’t partake in this year’s festivities, although we admit we are glad to see something fun is back in Breckenridge, especially after that disappointing Ullr Fest walking advertisement parade in January.
We remember the “good ol’ days” when Pub Crawlers – sometimes as many as 522 of them! – went from bar to bar in an attempt to drink enough beer and liquor to prove they deserved a season ski pass. This could explain a lot of things, but we’re not going there.
It used to be you drank a 12-ounce glass of green beer and a shot at each participating bar. The winner was usually the people who best planned their way from bar to bar without getting hit by a car, who could make themselves – how should we say this? – disgorge their beer because there’s little worse than running with a belly full of beer, and most importantly, who could run like Forrest Gump.
Now, however, the Politically Correct Persons (PCP) got into the fray and watered down the activities and the beer in hopes it would just fade away. Now people run to nine bars and drink a shot of Lite beer.
At least it’s back. Breckenridge was getting a little too frilly around the edges, if you get our drift.
Tami called to tell us that some low-life scum-slurping low-life has stolen about $3,500 worth of auto-body tools she’d been slowly moving from her storage unit to her home in Summit Cove.
The 14-year Summit County resident obtained most of the stuff at fundraisers to benefit a local cancer patient. She also has been in an accident, spent all her money on surgeries and now has to move – hence the transfer of stuff from storage unit to house.
“They stole everything that’s so important to me,” she said. “They’re stealing from someone who has nothing.”
Stolen items include a 30-gallon, five-horsepower air compressor, air tools, a six-disc player and receiver, a signed and framed Ray Bourque Avs championship puck, a new battery charger, various tools and scaffolding.
Do we even need to ask what kind of a fungi-munching worthless person would do this? Well, if the karma-guilt gets to be too much, the perp can return the stuff to her house; no questions asked. And anyone who knows anything can call her at 470-1059.
Get thee to the banks of the Dillon Reservoir!
Yup! It’s that time of year again – winter! And with it comes the breaking of the ice, such that as there is, on the lake. Every year, for a mere $2, people have the opportunity to guess when the ice will break on Dillon Reservoir. This is carefully monitored by a timing contraption that falls into the puddle and a camera in someone’s Dillon condo, monitoring the nocturnal activities of melting ice.
The money goes to the Rotary Club, the person who guesses closest the time when the Rotary Clock falls in the water wins $2,000, and tickets are tax-deductible, although we have yet to meet anyone who gets excited about something that’s tax-deductible.
After doing our own taxes last year, we learned you have to spend an estimated $290,423,911,355.32 before your donation of $25 worth of clothing to the Salvation Army and your $10 ticket to a spaghetti fundraiser are even eligible for a deduction. And hey, if we had $290,423,911,355.32 to spend, we wouldn’t be too worried about tax deductions.
So find your favorite Rotary Club member, buy an Ice Melt ticket and line up on the shore of the lake (you might want to take some survival supplies for the long walk out to the shore) and puff on the ice to make it melt. It’ll be worth it.
And we thank you, one and all, goodnight, Gracie. We out, running with Forrest.
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