Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column on the hunt for a decent milkshake.
Maybe it’s our fault for growing up in farm country, but when the warm weather hits, we get this hankering for a milkshake. (Using the word “hankering” is definitely a fault of growing up in farm country, but that’s another column.)
Can somebody out there help us? Is there no decent place in Summit Up Land to get a milkshake? Our craving set in yesterday afternoon, and after mulling it over, we just couldn’t shake it. Despite not knowing where to go, we had to set out in search of some dairy delight. A staffer suggested Greta’s, but Breck was just too far to drive in a hurry (we do have work to get done, believe it or not).
So, we went to Wal-ly World. Unfortunately, the McShakers there don’t have a shake machine. They suggested we go to Silverthorne. We did. The McShakeMachine was McBroken. Fortunately, Dairy Queen is right around the corner. We got a shake, but it really wasn’t what we were after.
What this place needs is a soda fountain. Can you dig it? The kind of place where they make a shake with – hang on, this is a shocker – milk and ice cream. And, the kind of place where they give you the leftovers in the metal cup.
Then again, we’re just spoiled and want too much.
So did anybody catch A-Basin’s fake classified ad that ran the past week? In short, it said “slightly used snowmaking system, no longer needed, $2 million or best offer.” Our friend Leigh at the Basin said they got plenty of calls – including Breck’s snowmaking manager and a guy who offered them all the money in his pocket (which was about $6.03).
In related news, our April Fools’ edition fooled at least 30 people who called the Corporate Suites wanting to know about picking up the check to pay their taxes.
The story about the mogul cows getting stolen also drew plenty of attention, including some insane callers who said (and we paraphrase slightly), “This is Rancher Killthemcows. I got all them mogul cows, them Scottish ones in my cave up here in the mine. You would not believe how succulent these steaks are. One million Front Rangers skiing over cows has made them so tender – even got some of them damn dirty hippies that eat tofu to turn into meat eaters. Tell you what, you ain’t never going to see these cows again. Going to throw all these steaks in the fridge. You’ll never catch me, either.”
And that, with cows mooing in the background the whole time.
Boy, do we love our jobs.
This kind of Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! makes us sick. Sam, Mike and Seth e-mailed us:
“To the person who hit and killed the German shepherd at mile marker 82 in Blue River around 8 a.m. on March 30: You are the lowest form of spineless scum there is. I know that you know who you are. The least you could have done is stopped. One good Samaritan had already stopped by the time we arrived. Fortunately, his family came out to the road and was able to be with him for his last few moments. His name was Brandon.”
Unfortunately, despite karma turning its back on these irresponsible twerps, it just doesn’t bring dogs back.
Linda Saul wants to send a big, happy 10th anniversary kiss to her hubby, Greg. “How time flies,” she said.
It’s Thursday and we’ve settled for just filling our stomach with ice cubes and milk and turning on the Richard Simmons workout tapes. Let us know if you have a better suggestion at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just moo some more on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
We’re out being intolerant of a lack of lactose …
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