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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering what it’d be like if Marines rolled into Summit Up Land to liberate us.

As many of you probably did, we watched with interest as the troops hooked up a crane to the statue of Saddam Hussein and toppled it, followed by plenty of Iraqis climbing up on the crumbled remains and dancing.

Most of us are lucky enough never to have experienced occupation, harsh, totalitarian regimes or life under generally oppressive conditions. When you get right down to it, we all get to go home at the end of work (which pays us a lot, when you consider that most people in the world live a year on our week’s wages), eat, watch TV, sleep in a bed and never once worry about the storm trooper crashing through the door. Well, OK, those of you who delve into the paranoia-inducing psychotropics might worry about the Gestapo not using the doorbell, but odds are it doesn’t happen.



Furthermore, even if we were liberated, we’re pretty sure the day troops saunter into Summit Up Land would be a pretty anti-

climactic day. What statues, exactly, would they topple? The one with the three cowboys sitting on the fence in front of the info center in Breck? The guys with the cannon off Summit Boulevard in Frisco? Would they knock over the statue of Hasty the avalanche dog in Dillon?



All of this is why we propose the following: Summit Up Land needs a Mount Rushmore. We propose that instead of all this bickering over public art and memorials and arts councils, we just conscript some local sculptors to carve a few busts in the face of Mount Royal. What’s more, the faces should belong to people whom none of us like. That way we all agree, that way the Marines have something to destroy when they save us, and that way we get to look at some pretty cool art every time we go out into the parking lot at the Corporate Suites.

And just imagine how paranoid those psychotropic fans will be when they look out their window and see a 50-foot Napoleon face on the mountain.

***

We’ve got tons of Congrats! to dole out here. We’re all fortunate to have a bunch of bright kids who don’t seem to dull at all when they head off to college.

First off, Colorado State University tells us there’s plenty of Summit kids making the dean’s list down in Fort Collins.

Nichole Elisha Green, of Dillon, made the list while studying psychology.

Chyerl Kay Varvil, of Silverthorne, is whooping up on grades in the liberal arts department.

Amanda Jean Fry, also of Silverthorne, is taking the proverbial names in psychology.

Gabriel Elizabeth Tamaska, who graduated from Summit in 1999, is graduating from the University of Michigan this month. She’s going on to study environmental law, mom says.

And, Sarah Blincoe made the honor roll (with no grades lower than a B!) at Timberline Academy in Durango.

This stuff must skip a generation, because we never did quite that good in school. Go figure.

***

Hey, it’s Thursday, which means the macaroni is the cheesiest today (it has to do with moons and tides – we won’t bore you with our trivial scientific minutiae). Let us know what you’d carve into Mount Rush-Royal at summitup@summitdaily.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just plant a flag and claim our voicemail for the crown at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.

We’re out liberating terrorized birds’ nests …


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