Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks people who throw snowballs at big events, like bikini contests, are total idiots.
What goes through someone’s head when he decides to launch a snowball at a crowd of people? Does he think it is funny to hit some unsuspecting person in the face with a snowball? What if you nailed someone who was wearing sunglasses right in the face and the glass shattered in that person’s eye? Would that be the ultimate bull’s-eye in the mind of an idiot snowball hucker? We here at Summit Central would like to issue a Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! to the mass of idiots at this year’s Copper Mountain Eenie Weenie Bikini Contest who virtually ruined the event for everyone. For those of you not in attendance Sunday – which was otherwise an incredibly beautiful day and a great party – one idiot who thought it would be funny to throw a snowball into a crowd got a whole lot of other idiots to do the same, to the point that it made for an all-out war of incoming snowballs. Children were taking cover between the legs of parents, Biff America stood huddled under the judges’ platform (we have seen Biff take cover under the platform at other bikini contests when snowballs were an issue, and we would even go out on a limb to say he probably thinks snowball throwers are idiots, too), and in the melee, some rube lost his snowboard which ran down the hill and almost took out two small kids. Some people bemoan the fact Summit County is losing some of its character when officials suspend or cancel events like the Breckenridge pub crawl, Frisco ski joring, the cardboard derby – but you know what, if next year there is no Copper bikini contest, you, the snowball throwers are to blame.
One last thing before we go, and this just came to us. We were watching our mighty Avalanche fight back to a 1-1 split the other day, and thought it pretty darned amazing that ice hockey refs don’t get beaned in the head a lot more than they do. Now that we have gone down this road, we think it might be appropriate that snowball-wielding punks get beaned in the head with a puck by Peter Forsberg every now and again.
We’re out … cowering under platforms.
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