Good morning, and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only column contemplating pole vaulting. No, really, have you ever thought about pole vaulting? How did it get its start?
Knowing that human beings are naturally competitive, it seems most games would have evolved from something people did in their daily lives – like running. Running from dinosaurs. Running after the opposite sex. Running from bar to bar guzzling beer and running some more. All very important skills in the survival of mankind.
But pole vaulting?
We can see the evolutionary value of high jumping – when the ancient Sumerian doberman pinschers were chasing the Pharaohs, they had to jump over the Great Wall of China to get away.
But when in the evolution of humankind did someone decide to pick up a pole to vault over something? Think about it S it would have had to be a solid stick to begin with, like the guy in Atari Pitfall. (Remember that? You’re dating yourself.) So how did it change from a solid stick to a rubbery one that bends?
Ohhhh S it’s all too much for our collective lame brain to ponder.
We received this righteous Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! during this week’s unexpected but welcome epic powder dump. The manager of the Butterhorn Bakery writes:
“On Friday, a gentleman finished breakfast and came to the counter to pay and mentioned the snow. I said, “Of course its snowing, because an employee (and friend) is getting married at Sapphire Point tomorrow.’ He handed me his card – he is Stan Johnson, a minister at the Summit County Church of Christ. He said that if the weather is bad and they need an alternate place to get married, they could use his church.
Well, the weather was cold but could be endured. The problem was the judge who was to marry them did not show. (Later we learned he tried to call, but the bride-to-be did not have her cell phone with her, and he had a family emergency.) So after two hours of waiting and calling four or five other ministers, I remembered our conversation.
After a quick phone call, Stan was at Sapphire Point within 20 minutes. Stan did an excellent job with the ceremony and needs to be thanked for his commitment.”
Thanks for saving the day, Stan – one that’s sure to be the subject of many a tall tale for years to come.
We imagine that Stan was a shoe-in for his halo and wings anyway, but it never hurts to have a spare.
Are you confused about
any of today’s so-called sports? Tell us about it at email@example.com, or fax it to (970) 668-0755, or just rant and rave on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, 228. We out, contemplating the origin of bocce ball S and curling S and badminton S
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