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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column apparently plagued by weird dreams.

And, honest, we ate not a single piece of pizza before hitting the sack.

Two nights ago, it was a fight to the death with jungle voodoo warriors and their palm fronds of death. Last night, we somehow ended up as contests on American Idol. Things were going really well until some other contestants told us the blond cutie standing at our right had the hots for us.

“She was totally checking you out while you were performing “The Hippie-Hippie Shake,'” they said. “She’s so into you.”

Of course, this totally messed with our minds and we stumbled through “Tie A Yellow Ribbon” in the next round before realizing our competition had conspired to mentally sabotage us.

Arrgh! Foiled again.


The kind of headline we wish we’d made up (but is, unfortunately, true) – from Wednesday’s news: U.S. troops opened fire on anti-American demonstrators for the second time this week as Iraqis marched Wednesday to protest the previous shooting.

Welcome to liberation and a free society! Woo-hoo!


It’s Friday, so send us some mud season dispatches at, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just make a point to stop at a rest stop on a highway somewhere and describe the bathrooms on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.

We’re off to Ohio to visit with the Summit Up Institute of Child-Rearing Economics and Barbie Dressing to hear about their newest experimental plan: surrogate motherhood …

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