Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column jamming out to The Weather Channel.
Sure, it’s basically spring, and our hopeless addiction to the world’s only daily television channel devoted solely to the sweet science of the atmosphere is waning with the probability of snowstorms, BUT: Have you heard the music?
At no other time is this alluring blend of jazz and funk – purely instrumental, mind you – available other than during The Weather Channel’s local forecasts. Set to a soothing blue background, large white type appears on the screen discussing temperatures and the possibility of snow and rain. And, at just the right volume, frenetically paced jazz-funk escapes through the tube’s speakers and sends one into a dreamy, weather-related fantasy.
The only question is, who is playing the music? We’re sure it’s a five-piece band of weather buffs off to the side at the Atlanta studio. And every 10 minutes, at Local Forecast time, the on-air talent cues the band, which feverishly runs through a three-minute set of the sweetest devil’s music known to man. Then, production sets the music to the forecast and – VOILA! – the perfect combination of sight and sound and the possibility of snow.
So, what does The Weather Channel band call itself? The possibilities are endless:
#) Partly Cloudy
*) Tornado Alley
%) Hurricane Bob
() Freak of Nature
@) Thirty Percent Chance of Jazz
$) Take Your Galoshes
^) Note Flurries
OK, maybe not endless. Please do e-mail the Corporate Suites at firstname.lastname@example.org with your Weather Channel band names or just get your group together and play a tight, three-minute set of jazz and/or funk into the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
We don’t know who dropped this off to us, but it cracks us up every time we look at it. It’s a note that says:
“Why men shouldn’t answer phones:
“Message – A guy from Gyna College called. He said the Pabst beer is OK.”
If you don’t get it, ask your girlfriend, guys.
It’s Sunday, but more importantly, Mother’s Day. We hope you take the opportunity right now to give yours a call and apologize for all the dumb stuff you’ve ever done. At least that’s what we plan to do.
We’re out supplicating …
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