Summit Up 3-13-10
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is on the lookout for Seuss Columns. We know it’s that time of year when they come out, so we want to enlist all Summit Up readers to keep an eye out for ’em.
Seuss Columns, BTW, are the curious formations created when a piece of roadside trash perched atop a bunch of snow serves as a sun blocker, thus causing these things that look like they came out of a Dr. Seuss book. So, say there’s a piece of cardboard that landed on top of some snow in February, then come March and April all the snow around that piece of cardboard starts to melt – except for the snow that’s right under the piece of cardboard. It’s weird, we know you’ve seen ’em, and you’ll know what we mean when you see your next one. If you get a photo of it and send it in, we’ll, uh, make a big deal of it and give you a cracker or something. Send your Seuss Column photos to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Speaking of stuff that happens around this time of year, keep an eye out for our March Mayhem contest that’s going on. That’s the workaround phrase for March Madness we have to use in any non-editorial contexts. It’s just like those NFL nutbags getting all weird about using the phrase “Super Bowl” – only this is on a collegiate level.
Anyway, the deal is you go to our website, cleverly URL’d http://www.summitdaily.com and scroll down to the March, ahem, Mayhem contest icon and click on it. Then follow the directions or whatever and you can win a million bucks. We’re not kidding.
We don’t know much about this, personally, because college basketball is about as interesting to us as a race between two slugs or the World Finals of the Ladies Mah-Jongg Contest in Phnom Phen. It’s just not our thing, but we know a lot of people deeply care about it so … there it is. Go nuts.
OK, FYI: March is National Brain Awareness Month!
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: What should we do about this?
SU: Well, be aware of your brain, of course! Think about its many wonders and mysteries and how smart it can be (inventing atoms and stuff) and dumb (e-mailing your ex-boyfriend from your current boyfriend’s computer). And we got this e-mail from LearningRx, which is some sort of company that helps folks with “cognitive skills deficiences” who also gave us this really easy-looking quiz:
Brain Awareness Quiz:
TRUE OR FALSE:
1. Dyslexia is a permanent diagnosis and cannot be cured.
2. IQ is a stagnant number and cannot change.
3. Most people hit their mental peak at age 22.
If you realize that this comes from an organization that’s trying to get people to maximize their brain power at any age, you can probably guess the answers are FALSE, FALSE and FALSE. But we’re guessing, hold on a tic while we check the website at http://www.learningrx.com: OK, we were right on the first two but it’s true, apparently, that you hit your mental peak at 22. Which is funny, because almost every one of the crime reports we get of people being drunkenly naughty around here is from folks that exact age! Goes to show how cocktails can impair the ol’ noggin capacity. Anyway, there’s more:
“According to a recent study at the University of Virginia, for most of us, our mental peak hits at age 22. And while the study seems to show that memory may stay intact until around age 37, other cognitive skills like processing speed, reasoning and spatial visualization begin to decline around age 27.”
Well, that sucks! Once again it proves that old adage that youth is wasted on the young. We never knew we were that sharp at 22 or 27 or whatever, and now that we’re older, we can’t even remember what happened back then. Although we’re pretty sure we didn’t invent anything while we had all that brain power, and whatever hard-drive capacity we had is now gone by the way of the … the, um, that bird that went excinct whatever it’s called.
OK, it’s Saturday. Go do your thing and don’t get locked up!
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