Summit Up 3-17-10: Irish, snake-free & lovin’ it!
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that says “there’s more to St. Patrick’s Day than green beer and corned beef!” But we’re not sure what it is … yet.One thing, though, we’re pretty certain of is that if St. Patrick himself were to come to Summit County 2010 and see the things being done in his name, he’d be surprised, to say the least.MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Just who is St. Patrick? Wasn’t there something about snakes?SU: Ah, yes, there is the legend that St. Patrick (c. 387-493 AD) banished all the snakes from Ireland. But according to this article on ol’ Wikipedia we’re looking at, Ireland really never had snakes since it’s kinda cold. Since there’s always room to pack on more made-up stuff on a legend, we’re going to go ahead and say that St. Patrick also banished the following things that were never in Ireland from Ireland:• Pokemon games• Sarah Jessica Parker• Arm & Hammer brand baking soda• Sugar gliders• Kelp• Vegemite• Green beer• Corned beef• Soap• Weird Al Yankovich recordsWay to go, St. Patrick! You totally rocked on banishing all that largely unnecessary stuff! MSUR: What the hell is corned beef, anyway?SU: Well, other than being St. Patrick’s favorite meal (he liked it on rye with this special German mustard he had shipped over by Teutonic knights), corned beef is popular in Ireland because (once again, from Wikipedia) it did not originate in Ireland.MSUR: Huh?SU: Yeah, it got popular in America with all the Irish-Americans in the Northeast because, uh, they thought it tasted good. BTW: Corned beef, which is a hunk of brisket from the front part of a cow, is called “corned” because of the grains of coarse salts (“corns”) used to cure it.MSUR: Why do people cure meats in the first place?SU: In the olden days before refrigerators, it was a way to make it last longer. A corned beef sandwich left out on the counter with a cheeseburger will last 31.7 days longer than the burger before it turns into a malevolent entity that goes on a rampage in the neighborhood. Even then, it’s still pretty tasty with sauerkraut, but you have to have a stout stomach!***Speaking of corned beef (and its gustatory partner, cabbage), we grew up in a house with a super-Irish mom (Eileen McHugh was her maiden name), and she flung that stuff at us all the time. We ate it up and asked for more. So when, a few years back, we tried to serve it to our family, we expected kudos and “pass some more!” requests and all that.But they all hated it -especially the cabbage. That’s why, every year, we trot on down to Murphy’s Irish Pub in Silverthorne to get our fill of CB&C, and they do a pretty good job of it there (although, to be honest, it’s hard to mess up). Lots of other places in Summit County are serving The Sacred Dish, as we like to call it, today, so get on out there and mow some beef like the Irish (or, at least, the Irish-American).If you don’t eat meat, you should eat some clover. The four-leaf kind, we hear, is particularly rich in antioxidants. Just be careful if you’re standing around eating clover: Someone might come up and shear you!***So, if there’s one thing we’ve been consistent about in this column over the past 20 years or so, it’s being self-deprecating. We’re always afraid someone might try to take this crap seriously, so we like to remind people, you know, not to. Recently we expressed surprise that someone from as far away as Littleton (that exotic land of Pleasantville-style houses and Olive Gardens) had read our column. Rushing to our defense were Mark and Robin Smith of Leawood, Kansas, who wrote thusly:”We were surprised that you were surprised that someone from out of state reads your daily daily. We’ve been coming out to Summit County practically every year since college spring breaks in the early 70s. We finally bought a place of our own in Breck four years ago and come out as often as we can. We love reading your paper on-line every day; it feels like our local paper nearly as much as the KC Star here at home. After all, Breck is our home way from home. Keep up the good work.”Thank you, Mark and Robin! It’s really ironic, too, because it just so happens we have a vacation home in Leawood, Kan., and we go out there a lot for the …(sound of googling)… lovely residential neighborhoods, beautiful parks and excellent schools! And we love to go to Gezer Park, Leawood’s newest “gem,” which is sure to be not only beautiful, but vastly unique to the greater Kansas City metropolitan area.MILLIONS OF LEAWOOD, KAN. RESIDENTS: The park hasn’t been built yet, you morons. It opens this fall. Or was it last fall? No matter, it’s awesome/will be awesome and is named after Gezer, Israel because that’s Leawood’s sister city.SU: OK. And we’d like to make Leawood our sister city, and thus do we proclaim: “Frisco and/or Breckenridge Colorado was named the sister town/city to Leawood, Kansas on March 17, 2010, by order of some schmuck writing a column in the newspaper.”And so it was.***Be good out there, folks; don’t get locked up our outta control. We out.
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.