Summit Up 3-18-11: Fueled by iguana milk and Pennzoil
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s ready to go 100 percent vegan (for a day or two) following that orgy of corned beef and Irish Stew from St. Paddy’s Day yesterday. And, it just so happens, this Sunday is “Great American Meatout Day,” so you can feel solidarity all around as you sip wheatgrass juice, nibble sorghum brisket (if there is such a thing) and munch tiny blanched acorns in a white-wine reduction.BTW: Why don’t people eat acorns? Squirrels like them just fine, but we won’t touch ’em. Has anyone out there in Summit Up Land ever eaten an acorn either out of choice or necessity? If so, let us know about the experience at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please let us know if you ate them, what kind of preparation you used and what, if any, liquid you used to wash it down with. Our guess is you’d need at least a hogshead or two of mead to get the job done.(We’re not sure why we used that archaic measurement of liquid, but for the record a hogshead is about 63 gallons. Why mead? What are you going to wash a bunch of acorns down with – Tang? We didn’t think so.)So, what other treats can we think of for the big Meatout?>We could give the big middle finger to the whole thing and have bacon-wrapped prime rib stuffed with calve’s liver for breakfast, followed by a 6-foot-long bltwurst (that’s blood sausage, fyi) in a bed of tripe (cow’s stomach) for lunch and a porterhouse steak the size of a VW Passat for dinner.>We could go all-in and eat the acorns as suggested above, as well as a bushel of grass, a peck of corn and a few troy ounces of tofu juice.>For the non-chefs out there, Kraft Mac & Cheese is plenty vegetarian (we think), as would be some spaghetti with Prego mushroom sauce.MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: We’re skeptical. We’ll bet there’s some scary stuff in Kraft Mac & Cheese – things you’d never expect.SU: We share your skepticism, O wonderful readers. And we found this little summary of what’s in the cheese sauce on the http://www.livestrong.com website:”Every package of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese contains a package of mix to make cheese sauce. The cheese sauce mix contains several milk ingredients: whey (milk protein), milk protein concentrate, milk, milkfat and cheese culture. The cheese sauce mix also contains salt, sodium tripolyphosphate, sodium phosphate and calcium phosphate. According to the International Food Additives Council, sodium phosphates help cheese retain its melting properties and calcium phosphate improves nutritional value. Yellow 5 and Yellow 6 are added to the sauce mix as colorings. Final ingredients in the sauce mix are citric acid, lactic acid and enzymes. According to the Food Additives and Ingredients Association, acids are added to foods as preservatives and emulsifiers. Enzymes are catalysts, and may help the cheese sauce reconstitute properly.”So far as we can tell, the macaroni is just the usual wheat flour stuff with some added nutrients. So long as you don’t use, like, Pennzoil and milk from a radioactive iguana in there, you should be OK.Gotta run – until tomorrow!
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