Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column feeling downright lugubrious (lu-GOO-bree-us) this bright and sunny day. That’s the word of the day from dictionary.com.
It is an adjective meaning mournful; indicating sorrow, often in a way that seems feigned, exaggerated, or ridiculous; gloomy; dismal.
We’re feeling this way because we seem to be the only one at work in the Inside Out Dishwasher Mothership today, which is Tuesday, but printed Wednesday because that’s the way newspapers work.
We know Staffer No. 323 is in Alaska, No. 9921 is in the hospital, No. 294 is off today, leaving us, Summit Up Staffer No. 320 to do all the work. Ohh, woe is us. (We know; we know. Peel ourselves off the cross.)
So to bring ourselves out of our gutter of self pity, we will change gears and go straight to an Angel Alert! Angel Alert! What a great way to start your day!
Someone named Dave called to let us know that while he was shopping at City Market in Breckenridge Monday night, unbeknownst to him, he dropped his wallet. You know where this story’s going, don’t you?! But check this out! The wallet had a breathtaking $1,200 in it. “Whoa, Dave!” is all we have to say about that!
Dave declined to say what he was doing with that kind of moola on his person. Either he was doing some heavy duty shopping or anticipating the traditional hike in food costs on Memorial Day weekend. He mumbled something about just having been paid. Yeah, “paid.” That’s it. Hmmm.
Anyway, someone turned it into the customer service folks at City Market, and when Dave checked back Tuesday morning, there it was.
“I was freaking out all night, freaking out all morning, I got up this morning and there it was,” he said. “I couldn’t be happier.”
He also wishes he knows who found it so he could buy them dinner or something. (It was us, Dave! It was us, Dave!) They can call him on his cell at (970) 418-1268. No crank calls! Dave’s going to ask callers to identify the peculiar identifying marks on his wallet!
And we’ll take advantage of this opportunity to reach deep into our bag of angel wings and halos and grace the head of the person who returned the wallet. Consider theeself angelized, whomever you are!
We’re playing a game of Office Furniture Where’s Waldo? which we find to be highly amusing but don’t think our other staffers will.
We moved three desks, four computers, six plants, two phones and a partridge in a pear tree and placed the aforementioned items in various locations throughout the room. We have a plant in the Summit Up Headquarters fish tank, a telephone under a desk, a computer motherboard hanging from a cord from the rafters and 11 maids a dancing in the corner. Hee, hee! We kill us sometimes!
Staffer No. 201-b.4 just returned from his honeymoon and announced that his wife’s new name is Cyn Kimm. Say that five times real fast!
So on that note, we’ve decided to hook up a couple of people in the community just so we can play with their names.
We already have people with unusual names: Don Butt, Ted Slaughter and Ernie Flake, but what if we mix them up a bit!
First of all, we believe Colleen Ihnken (of Global Extremes fame, Alma resident, almost summited Everest) should marry Doug Malkan. That would make her Colleen Ihnken-Malken. Then they could name their son Lincoln Ihnken-Malken. Ha!
Or Amanda Goode, of Flying Colors, could marry Robert Bye so she could be Amanda Goode-Bye! Too bad Robert’s already married, though.
How about Carolyn Tiller of Dillon marrying Ted Miller? Tiller-Miller of Dillon!
Certainly you folks out there in Summit Up Land can come up with better examples of should-be couples. Give us a jingle at (970) 668-3998, ext. 228 with your nuptial contributions!
We out, looking for loaded wallets.
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