Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column hoping its readers will help come up with a new name for our entertainment section.If you’ve picked up our paper on a Friday, you’ve noticed it’s got a little more heft than the other days of the week. It’s not because of phone book-sized inserts telling you that toilet seats are on sale at Home Depot, it’s our fantabulous, free-standing, pull-out arts and entertainment rag.Heretofore, and since its inception, the A&E (as we in the “biz” like to call it) section has been titled “ETC.”MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: What the heck is E-T-C?SUMMIT UP READER NO. 1: I think it stands for Entertainment, Theater and Clubs.SUMMIT UP READER NO. 2: I think it stands for Egotistical bands, Tacky art and Callow movies.SUMMIT UP READER NO. 3: I thought it stood for Everything you Thought you Cared about, and the little “.” meant “and more.”You all could be right. It really stands for “et cetera,” as in “and everything else.” But, as our top-notch A&E staffers pointed out recently, that makes it seem sort of like an afterthought, like it’s all the left-over stuff we couldn’t fit in the paper during the week.Consequently, we’ve decided we need a new name for our entertainment section. So, that means it’s time for another Summit Up Contest!We want your submissions for what you think we should call the arts and entertainment section. The winning name will reflect the multiplicity of arts we feature on those pages (i.e. it won’t be just about music or only refer to plays). The winner will receive $30 in gift certificates for the Dillon Dam Brewery – not too shabby, if we don’t say ourselves.Send your submissions to email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just leave it on the voicemail (along with your name and phone number) at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.***We caught Biff America off-guard the other day by including him in our tirade about biking attire. Biff felt compelled to respond, and we’re happy to include his missive:”Dear Summit Up, I was both flattered and frightened to read that the Summit Up Staffers took time from their busy day to discuss my bicycle shorts.”Bicycle shorts are much like newspaper reporters: They perform better than they look. They (the bike shorts, not the reporters) pad, breathe, block the wind and prevent the deadly saddle-sore much better than any other style. Those baggy shorts most of us use for mountain biking are more attractive, but can not hold a candle (no pun intended) performance-wise to those tight shorts favored by road bikers.”I offer my sincerest apologies for showing up at the Summit Up offices, wearing my tight trousers, right before lunch. But from the looks of most of the staff, missing a meal was no great loss.”Corpulently Yours, Biff America.”Biff, you can stop by the offices anytime, wearing whatever suits you at the time. Kindred souls need never be parted over a difference in shorts.Wait, that didn’t sound right. Oh, too late now.***Did you know? If you put all the whales on the earth end to end, they would eventually die. Think about that this brilliant Monday, dear readers. We’re out stocking the reservoir with humpbacks …
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