Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column whispering its way through the third person.
Why whispering? Because we’ve got laryngitis. Why the third person? Because we’re that darned important.
Now, we considered leaving the space blank because we can’t talk. No talk, no words. Get it? Hah!
Then we were so impressed with our own wit that we decided it would be criminal to deprive our readers of their daily guffaw and general enlightenment.
Back to that importance thing … does the “royal we” mean we get a royal crown? Because we want ours. We want it now. Harumph.
Try saying “harumph” with a sore throat.
From Mono to laryngitis, we’re pitiful. From swappin’ spittle to weeks in bed, to a complete inability to communicate – we’re feeling like a bad rerun of our relationships.
Hah! A joke again. We’re on a roll. At least there’s no infirmity of the mind in these parts.
Speaking of infirmity, we overheard one of our middle-aged colleagues ask “Hey, with my old grandmother legs, who wouldn’t pick me up?” and began to wonder, are there many hitchhiking grannies out there? If there are, do people pick them up?
Which reminded us of breaking public decency laws, which reminded us of policemen, which reminded us of scanners.
We have a scanner. We’re very proud of it.
And today on our scanner we overheard a scanneree (that’s a technical term for one whose voice comes over the scanner … really … look it up in your Funk and Wagnall’s, we dare you) telling dispatch to “put a cork in it.”
And that got us thinking … which hurt. But we decided to get our thought out before it died of loneliness.
We thought, boy, there sure are a lot of people we’d like to tell to put a cork in it.
Donald Rumsfeld. The French. Hillary Clinton. Everyone on the radio or television. Michael Cacioppo.
Then we realized we might get beat up. We’re sick and pitiful, remember. And the French scare us.
In truth, we’re scared by a lot of things. Like monkeypox, SARS, and a coherent stream of thought.
In general, we’re the consummate modern citizen.
We run from the sight of relevance. We bask in banality.
Or maybe we are simply sardonic cynics who wonder if sycophantism might better serve to stifle the vicissitudinous of our inconstant conception of our own self-worth.
We need to give props and a Shout Out! to some cool tree
service people. This past week, we ran a story in the paper about the slash pick up day on Ptarmigan organized by firefighters, the Sierra Club and homeowners in the area. We neglected to mention that Edward Paddock of Evergreen Tree Service in Buena Vista, Kevin Hiner (forgive us if we misspelled that) of Rocky Mountain Fire Fuels Reduction out of Steamboat and Quick Chip of Breckenridge also volunteered their time that day.
We all know fire reduction is pretty important, and these guys volunteered their time and equipment to help keep us safe. We appreciate it.
We’re out picking up
hitchhiking grannies …
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