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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column where you’ll learn the definition of mankles and thankles.

Mankles, you might not have known, is the lexicological marriage of “manly ankles,” defined as those ankles on women who prefer not to shave their legs, as evidenced by the little curly things poking out from beneath the pants cuff.

Thankles would be those thick ankles on ladies. This categorization, we’ll admit, is somewhat subjective. If the woman in question has small feet, her actually normal-sized ankles are bound to look bigger.



We bring this up and share this with you today, as usual, thanks to a rather tangential, caffeine-fueled discussion here in the dark corners of the Corporate Suites. A field agent, for example, noted that one of the bar staffers at the Blue Spruce can’t get enough of mankles and was ogling a customer or two as they sipped their libations.

The thankles then came up as what we would refer to as a heartless disqualification – someone who said, “I find those and this relationship has about run its course.” Once, after a quick, decompressing journey to sea level and a few days on scorching black sand, we found ourselves with thankles. We must admit: It saddened us, and we were not happy with our appearance.



But here from our perch looking out across Summit Up Land, today, before all our readers and any deities who would stoop to listen to such juvenile discussion, we proclaim – nay, beseech – let there be no discrimination against mankles and thankles. Let those who find peace in sparing the razor walk freely among us, in culottes or in shorts. Let those with oversized ankles not be afraid to shun socks. If we could only accomplish this, bring peace and harmony among those who (for some reason) pay attention to ankles, then maybe, just maybe, we shall bring forth a new, more egalitarian world.

And if not, well then, we’ll just have to write more columns making fun of people’s ankles.

***

We’ve been trying to get this Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! in but we keep running out of space.

Sara Cozzolino lost her wallet in Dillon recently. Luckily, she informed us, she didn’t have any credit cards or irreplaceable items in it. But, it was a crazy night – it was pouring rain, her car wouldn’t start, and she and her husband were running around Dillon trying to get some help with that. One of the partners at the bowling alley came to their rescue.

The next morning, she realized the wallet was gone. So, they drove the 30 miles from Blue Valley Acres back to Dillon to look for it, but with no luck. Then Sarah got a message from today’s hero.

Devon had found her wallet, “soaked as it was from snow,” Sarah said. Being a good detective, even though there wasn’t much to identify the wallet’s owner, Devon found Sarah’s rec center pass and took it there. He explained as much in a phone message to Sarah, but she couldn’t understand his number, so she was hoping we would pass along her deep gratitude.

“Thanks for being an honest person. Sometimes when you have lost hope on people being honest, someone like Devon comes along and does a commendable job. Thanks, Devon!”

***

It’s Wednesday, which means we’re out performing surgery on a teabag …


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