Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column floating like a cottonwood seed on the winds of fate.
Which is to say, we’re easily mistaken at a distance for pollution or some other hazy, allergy-causing airborne nuisance, and we really have no control over where we’re going to land.
Who wouldn’t want whales in the lake?
We decided, after watching a program on Discovery or some other such excuse for televised education, that Summit Up Land could do a lot to help out the world’s endangered species. For instance, as we mentioned above, we could import some whales into Dillon Reservoir.
Tell us that isn’t one of the best ideas we’ve come up with yet!
Think about it: Whales are used to some cold water. People spend thousands of dollars to get on boats and take pictures of whales swimming around, spraying water out their blowholes (the whales, not the tourists). We’ve got this big ol’ lake just sitting there most of the time. And tell us all those fisherman out there wouldn’t love to go home and tell tall tales and fibs about how they almost reeled in one of the whales in Lake Dillon.
Now, sure, some of you will point out that whales breathe air and might not adjust to the altitude. This is true. But they’re obviously already having difficulty adjusting to people who hunt whales.
And, yeah, there’s the whole issue of what happens when the lake freezes over. We’ve already thought of this. That’s why, along with the whales, we throw in some narwhals (those whales that have big ivory tusks like unicorns) to break up the ice. We realize that breaking up the ice throws a kink in our grand scheme for hovercraft taxis across the lake between the towns, but it’s a noble sacrifice.
A few people have sent in submissions for our most recent Contest! We’re looking for a new name for our Friday entertainment section. The big-wigs here have decided that “ETC …” just isn’t cool enough anymore. So, send your ideas in (along with your name and phone number) and if we pick it as the winner, you’ll get $30 in gift certificates to go eat at the Dillon Dam Brewery. Send your ideas to firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just hoot and holler on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
An anonymous caller thought we should have an entirely different contest. This gentleman thought the competition should be to decide what to do with the empty half of the old City Market in Silverthorne, right next to Office Max.
Despite the fact it’s private property, he suggested it should be a strip club (“Which Summit needs,” he said), maybe an electric go-cart place for kids and adults, a new Silverthorne library or an indoor skatepark.
“I’m sure I’ve got some other ideas, but it’s late at night and I’ve got better things to do than talk to your machine,” the caller said. “Have an oh-be joyful day, and remember Jesus loves you even if you are a pagan sinner.”
Well, thank you.
Mmmmm, Thursday. Makes us wanna stand on a corner and sing doo-wop.
We’re out looking for some Brylcreem …
Support Local Journalism
Support Local Journalism
As a Summit Daily News reader, you make our work possible.
Now more than ever, your financial support is critical to help us keep our communities informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having on our residents and businesses. Every contribution, no matter the size, will make a difference.
Your donation will be used exclusively to support quality, local journalism.
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User