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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column, except maybe some of those “men’s” magazines, reveling in the joy of being a guy.Of course, some days, we revel in being a woman. Or a lady. Or a heathen. Sometimes, even a wuss. But revel we love to do. We realized it might be a good revel-type day when a faithful Summit Up reader e-mailed us a list of why it’s great to be a guy. We’re sure you’ve seen/experienced/pulled your hair out over these things before, but they’re like, so true.Here are some reasons it’s great to be a guy:7) Your last name stays put.+) The garage is all yours.) Wedding plans take care of themselves.) You can be president.$) You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.2) Car mechanics tell you the truth.N) The world is your urinal.%) You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.) Same work, more pay.o) Wedding dress: $5,000; tux rental: $100.) People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.f) New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet.0) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.b) You can open all your own jars.@) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.9) If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.?) Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.^) Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.) You almost never have strap problems in public.“) You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes._) The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.,) You don’t have to shave below your neck.#) Your belly usually hides your big hips.|) One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.?) You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.Q) You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.) You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on Dec. 24, in 45 minutes.***We have a couple of happy, happy, joy-joy birthday announcements, coming down to you from “Guess Who?” and “Not Telling!”The first: Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, look who’s turning 40! By jove, it’s Jan Brewer! Who da thunk it? We here at the Big Plop – formerly known as the Shiplike Behemoth – wish Jan a very, merry 40th. It just keeps getting better!And to the Frisco postmaster goes troves of Happy Birthday wishes, for the obvious reasons. Yikes, is all we have to say about this photo, somewhere on this page.The message within goes, “It’s tiring turning 50!” And it’s painful looking at this photo! Hope your birthday goes better than it’s starting! And pssst! Hint! Don’t fall asleep again!***We out, reveling in our person-hood.

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