Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column tempted to do all the things our mother ever spanked us for.
Let us explain with a little preamble: Have you ever broken something, just because you knew it would feel good? We’re not talking about going rock star-crazy in a hotel room just because room service put a pickle on your BLT platter, even though you specifically told them not to (oh, and because you’re wacked out on quaaludes). We’re talking about simply taking something that’s worthless to everyone, something you don’t need anymore and smashing it into teeny bits because you’re going to put it in the trash anyway (and why let the compactor on the garbage truck have all the fun?). We’ve even gone so far as to daydream about opening a business where people can come and pay five bucks to take a sledgehammer to a TV, or a car, or a lava lamp – all under the safe supervision of our staff, of course.
Well this is sort of like that – something we could theoretically do, without significant repercussions, despite, in strict ethical terms, being one of those things Mom told you never to do.
See, they’re replacing the carpet here at the Corporate Suites. And as we sit here typing this, we’re looking down and thinking, “Hey, we could spill a cup of cherry Kool-Aid in here, and it really wouldn’t matter.” That’s how the naughty daydreams started. First it was Kool-Aid. Then it was red wine. Then it was doing the Hoover vacuum salesman demonstration (without the cleaning up) with the contents of the pencil sharpener. Then it was a mixture of hot wax and tomato sauce.
Then our morals got the better of us. Is it still bad? We could spill blood, but where would we get it? We weren’t even sure we’d be able to follow through – kind of like how it’s hard to go to the bathroom when you’re swimming in the ocean because your body knows you still have shorts on. We’ve been conditioned, you see?
So, obviously, the solution: We just need to take our shorts off before we start spilling beverages on the carpet.
There’s a fine line between rationalization and logic.
We’ve written several times about the response we got to our column in which we mentioned the war in Iraq and whether anything good came about as a result. You’ll have to check our archives for a full re-cap. We’re too tired for that today.
We will, however, mention that Gwen e-mailed us with a suggestion to check out the story at http://www.ptcgazette.com/opfred. It’s a page on the Web site of the Peachtree City Gazette, in Georgia. A former resident there, now in the Army, has organized a project to bring medical and educational supplies to the village near his base in Iraq.
Sounds like good stuff to us, Gwen.
We’ve got a few Congrats! to hand out today. Fort Lewis College in Durango tells us that a bunch of Summit kids are kicking butt in the academic world. Check out all these students that made the dean’s list: Tavis Johnson (an exercise science major), Jennifer Shirley (an English-communications major, and a former Summit Daily intern) and Zonna Barnes (an anthropology major).
Rock on, guys.
You can try to reach us this fine Sunday at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or saying “Is anyone there?” repeatedly on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237. You could. But we’ll be busy.
We’re out rubbing our cheeks on the soft new carpet …
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