Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with hickies on its mind. That’s right, we’re talking about them purplish bruise-like thangs pubescent teens like to give one another in the heat of young passion.
Why hickies this early Tuesday morning? We attended the Norah Jones concert last Friday night at the Ford Amphitheater in Vail and saw a young brunette, dressed in a white one-piece, sporting what looked to be a fresh hickey.
It’s tough enough to keep up with that Vail crowd in the first place, but now Vail-ites are apparently wearing hickies as a new brand of fashion. What’s next with those people – tight white jeans with mud splashes all over them?
We got to talking with one of our field agents at the concert (or is she a counter field agent?), who received a hickey at a tender young age.
Mortified that her mom would find out, she decided the prudent thing to do was wipe poison ivy all over her little badge of passion. Little did she know, however, she was allergic to poison ivy.
Of course, her mother found out about the hickey (mothers always do), so not only did she suffer all the allergic reactions to poison ivy, but she was made to wear a neck collar on all subsequent dates until she was 25.
Upon hearing our hickey stories, one of our staffers in the newsroom said she loved the hickey stage of life, when she could actually feel her hormones carbonating in her young body. “Hickies feel good,” she said, looking at us rather wantingly. “I used to practice giving them on my own arms, so my hickies would be the roundest and deepest purple ones one would ever desire.”
We won’t tell you who she is, but keep a look out for a female reporter sucking on her own arms during town meetings.
Moving right along, Kim DiLallo gave us a ring this morning to say the orange bug we ran in Summit Up Monday – commenting on what a euphoric feeling it gave us just driving by – is owned by Doc P.J.
She said Doc P.J. bought the bug at a John Novotny fundraiser some years back, and that Doc P.J.’s good karma in doing so emanates from the bug to all who pass by it.
He must have a lot of good karma stored up, as he’s also purchased a Volvo donated to the cause by Gene Dayton of Nordic ski fame. Jees. And the guy doesn’t even drive. Maybe this year, he’ll buy a Hummer.
Kim said the next community party to benefit the John Novotny Memorial Fund for medical emergencies is taking place Sept. 14. If people out there have a vehicle they would like to pass on to receive angel wings and karma points, call Kelly Butler at (970) 547-0659.
One other answer out of the blue came from George Grill this early morning. Last week one of our loyal Summit Up readers from Keystone’s Shirt Off My Back asked where the K comes from in K-Mart? George tells us, “K-Mart grew out of the Kresge chain of five-and-dime stores of my youth.”
There you have it. As for the question: “If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?” We are still stumped on that one, but feel confident someone out there will step up to the plate and get us an answer muy pronto.
C’mon folks: there are only so many answers:
@Yes/No and they’d still be wrong.
That’s it for us. We’re out spotting hickies …
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