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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column ready for fall.

We know we’re ready because, as we were flipping channels Monday night, we found ourselves staring at a football game and we didn’t immediately change the channel. And after spending the day playing around out in the cool rain, we realized: It’s time to start having fires, watching leaves change color and putting pants on in the morning (we know we’re supposed to do that – the judge and the district attorney told us to – but we usually start with shorts in the summer, and wait for pants until the sun goes down).

We’ll probably get a lot of complaints about this. “I’m not ready for winter,” people say when we bring up the ever-shorter days. “I want it to be summer longer,” they say.



Well, too bad. Unfortunately, there’s not much any of us can do about it. It’s either adapt, or be unhappy.

Sure fall has its aspects we don’t care for. We really aren’t football fans at all. We like to watch our collegiate alma mater, and maybe another game here or there. But we can appreciate the idea that there’s appropriate football weather, and we enjoy that weather. We don’t like it when our car engine chortles and gurgles in the morning after freezing all night – especially when we’re getting ready to go to work and it’s still dark out. But we console ourselves with the knowledge that, if it doesn’t start, we can always go back to bed until the sun does come up. On a similar note, we don’t like scraping our windshield, either. There really is no consolation for that, though.



So who’s with us? Are you ready? If you’re with us, drag those turtlenecks out of the closet, dust them off … and burn them. Very few people look good in them, and they’ll make great tinder for that fire you’ll need to heat your house.

***

Carlos in Dillon read about us wondering why there’s so many blondes in Vail and had a theory of his own:

“I guess you guys fell head first into the “peroxide zone’! Very scary town and one reason I tend to avoid Vail as much as possible. Only last month I had to take on some work over in Beaver Creek. I would pass through Vail on my way there. I started noticing something very strange I hadn’t noticed as much as when lived there full time back in the ’90s. Not only were there a lot of blondes but also a hell of a lot of girls wearing heavy makeup. Enough so that whenever I looked at them, I would definitely be afraid to approach any of them. The “expression’ these girls created on their faces was one of anger! I mean they intentionally draw these “b-ch masks’ on their faces! Along with those stupid blond “bob’ soccer mom haircuts. I have to agree, for those who don’t visit Vail on a daily basis, it can be a Twilight Zone!

“I can only think back on one episode of the original Star Trek series in the ’60s. The one where the crew of the Enterprise goes to that planet with all the platinum blond aliens. The people on the planet all worship and are ruled by this rock “Tiki’ figure as their only means to stay alive (subliminal message: “Vail Resorts’). If any of them spoke out against the stone god, the sky would grow dark and the god would get angry and hurt the people. Kind of like VR! If anyone complains about the cost of housing, cost of living, cost of social status etc. … the “Blond Androids’ will shut you out of their cliquish circles. (As you can probably tell I am not a big fan of the Vail Valley!) I don’t know what these Subaru Wagon/wannabe soccer moms would do to one of their fellow “Stepford Wives’ as punishment. But I imagine it would be something to do with stealing their eye liners or sabotaging their hair color at their local beauty parlors. Scary town!”

We’re glad to see someone has an imagination as active as our own. Be careful over there, Carlos.

***

We’re out waiting for apple cider season …


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