Summit Up 4-1-11: Still workin’ the April Fool’s thing
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that isn’t quite sure how to write an April Fool’s Day column – especially after we sorta did everything we could think in our special April Fool’s Day edition on the outside of today’s paper. What’s left to be funny about?MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Huh? You mean all that stuff about Houston Handbags and solar panels in Breck and Armpit Hair April wasn’t for reals?SU: Uh, no.MSUR: WTF! We already wrote a letter to the council, filed three lawsuits, bought a one-piece zip-up Descente bag and urged our girlfriend to stop shaving her pits.SU: Well, you should pay closer attention. But we’re sure the folks at the recycled sports store were thrilled to unload that old Descente ski bag suit thang. Anyway, we hope you’re having a fine April 1 so far and that no one has played any annoying tricks on you. If it’s still early enough in the day, we found a couple of “wintery pranks” on this website http://www.funnypracticaljokes.com:>Find a snowy place where people walk that hasn’t been shoveled yet and shovel out some paths in the snow that go all over the place and lead to nowhere. In this video, the guy who did it had some great marks show up and follow the paths all over the place rather than get their shoes all snowy.MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Who the hell could be bothered doing that? And what if the person taking the shoveled path to nowhere is armed? A lot of people are packing heat these days. They’re angry, too.SU: Well, we never said creating practical jokes was meant for people short on time. And if you’re really concerned about getting shot, you should definitely forgo this type of activity.MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: OK, what’s the next prank, just in case we find some time?SU: That was it; the rest are kinda Christmasy. But let’s see if we can make one up:Amazing Summit Up Prank for April Fool’s DayStep One: Hide in the woods and wait for some crosscountry skiers or snowshoers to come along.Step Two: When they get close, start making ghostly noises and (optional) fling bags of dog poop in bags left on the side of the trail by careless dog owners.Step Three: Sneak away before they find you.Optional gag: Tie some fishing line to one of the bags of poop. When someone goes to pick it up in an act of do-gooderism, yank on the line and tug the poop out of reach. (Caution: You may have to wait a loooong time for someone to pick up a bag of dog poop that’s not their dog’s.)MSUR: That’s a terrible idea for a prank. Although since most crosscountry skiers don’t pack heat, we feel a little safer on this one.Personally, we think practical jokes are kinda weird and unkind. And since most people like to play them on their friends and family, you’re really only hurting the ones you love, right? On the other hand, if you are a practical joker, you can look forward to having those you’ve punked in the past get back on you big time some day. There will always be that ticking time bomb out there, and you never know when it will go off. And that’s the price you pay for all those times you put your buddies hand in the bowl of water as he slept, or wrote on his face with magic marker when he was passed out drunk, or … you get the picture.So play it cool today, folks. Some say it’s ‘Gaper Day,’ and it may be fine to dress up in your one-piece suit and walk around with your boots unbuckled, but be nice to our visitors, by all means. If it weren’t for them, we’d all be living in discarded refrigerator boxes, right?Right.We out. We’re not foolin’.
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