Summit Up 4-6-11: Where old people hate wind
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that would like to issue our very first Super Mega Ultimate Scum Alert Supremo! Also known as the dreaded SMUSAS, this Scum Alert was specially created to target the low-life losers from HELL who tagged all the playground equipment at Rainbow Park in Silverthorne over the weekend (see photos below).
Holy crap! Who would do such a thing? What’s the point? Granted, we don’t like or get any kind of tagging or graffiti (and what’s the diff?), but hitting a children’s playground … that’s low. So low, in fact, that we despair for the sould and collective karma of the dirtbag buttknockers who committed this heinous act. There may be no chance at redemption … UNLESS: You turn yourselves in immediately and get to work cleaning this stuff off.
Assuming that scum-sucking losers like this probably won’t do anything as virtuous as turn themselves in, we would like to post a Summit Up All Points Bulletin to anyone who might know anything about this. The Silverthorne cops are investigating the crime – which they say occurred between 9 a.m. and midnight April 2 – so if you know anything at all about this, call Crimestoppers at 866-453-STOP (7867) or contact the Silverthorne PD at (970) 262-7320.
We hate this kind of stuff! And BTW, dirtbag taggers: The kiddies just got this new equipment last year and have been enjoying it tremendously. They are not enjoying your stupid, ugly spraypaint “art.” And we can’t believe you even tagged the eyes on the little bug thing! Sheesh.
We need some good news after all that. Anyone got any?
(sound of crickets)
Crap. OK, we’re just kidding – there must be some good news out there, right? Something about rainbows and unicorns, baskets full of puppies and and things like that. Our operators are standing by, so let us know any good news at email@example.com.
So we heard that Katie Couric is leaving some news channel on TV, we’re not sure which one. We’re not entirely sure who Katie Couric is beyond being a TV news anchor, and we’ve never seen her show. We’re not sure why we’re even mentioning her here other than to note that we don’t really watch TV news or know or care about the anchors that populate these programs. But, since Katie Couric is a fellow member of the human race and, as far as we know, a perfectly nice person, we will wish her good luck in whatever she does next.
It’s really windy out there today as we write this, which reminds us of a theory we postulated long ago: Old people hate wind.
Is that true? We think it is – especially for older ladies who have fancy hairdos they don’t want to get mussed by the wind.
We like wind, we find it rather exhilirating. Well, we should elaborate by saying that, if it’s 10 below and we’re on the chairlift, we’re not a big fan of wind. But a warmer blast of air, it can be rather life affirming, can’t it?
But we can’t help but wonder if, as we grow older, we’ll also grow to dislike wind. Who knows?
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