Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column slowly becoming a vidiot.
And the problem is, it’s brainwashing us.
For those that have never heard the term, a “vidiot” describes your friends and lovers who spend untold hours in front of a computer monitor or TV, exercising their thumbs maneuvering through adventures on their Playstation, box or, in the parlance of some of our older readers, the Odessy or Atari.
In the past, the sight of such poor souls evoked a sense of pity in us. What a shame to waste all that sunlight outside, we’d think. We’d wonder if they thought the electronic activity, whether golf or football or auto racing, would improve their skills in the real world. We laughed thinking about retirement homes full of people going blind before their time from absorbing enough cathode rays to cook a frozen chicken.
Now we’re having a little trouble laughing, because it’s not so funny when we’re the butt of the joke. See, we were able to resist for years. Even in our childhood, although we enjoyed an occasional trip to the video arcade (yes, kids, you used to have to leave your house to play games), we never really got sucked in like the other kids. This became even more obvious in college, where we watched the best minds of our generation get dull while their hand-eye coordination got sharper, and we found ourselves looking for excuses about why we couldn’t stick around to watch.
“Ummm … laundry’s boiling! Gotta go!”
We can only conclude, however, after getting sucked in, that everyone is a vidiot waiting to happen. Every person has his or her own video game out there. It’s just a matter of how long before you encounter it.
Ironically, though, all the games are the same. There’s a little bit of a story line, a whole lot of manual dexterity, and usually some explosions, stunts and conflict thrown in. It really doesn’t matter if it’s auto racing or spy adventures. They just attract different people in the way they dress it up.
So be on guard. There’s a video game out there lurking, and it’s just waiting for you. We’ve got the couch sores to prove it.
A guy called in this Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! and it makes us sick just to think about it. Let’s hope that’s true for the scum in question, too.
Someone in a white SUV was cruising down Overlook Drive in Breck Monday night and hit our caller’s dog. The driver then sped off.
“I saw the whole thing happen,” the caller said. “The dog’s OK – after about $300 spent at the vet.”
We join the caller in hoping the driver gets his or her just desserts.
George Grill read our column the other day and said he did have a pleasant bathroom experience as we wished. “I was relieved,” he said.
We were talking about auto-
flushing toilets, and George replied he wasn’t going to defend them, but he wanted to share an interesting tidbit. He read a story about how, during the recent blackout in the Northeast, every building with auto-flushing toilets had a problem.
“Those toilets don’t work when electricity is out,” he said. George added those fancy faucets that run when you put your hands underneath don’t work in blackouts, either. “That’s a little more problem than a flashlight would cure.”
We bet the Mennonites had a good laugh at everybody over that.
Today’s official salad dressing is honey moustache. We don’t like mustard, and it’s just not crunchy enough the normal way. You can order some at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just tell us the buttermilk turned on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
We’re out sniffing vinegar …
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