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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that can’t believe how outrageous these spam e-mailers are getting.

First it started with “get the lowest mortgage rate” spam and crap about herbal energy products. Then it started getting into generic Viagra sales pitches. Eventually, we were overwhelmed by “increase your penis size” and “double your lip size” e-mails. The one today was the topper, though.

In the subject line, it says “Best Child Pornography Site.” So, of course, we’ve got to open that one up. In the message we find the good people at are willing to sell us heroin (in liquid and crystal form), Tomohawk rockets (and fuel), other air-to-air rockets (in batches of 10, please), cocaine (buy 9 grams, get the 10th free), gay slaves, fake currency and (as always) child pornography.

We’ll be forwarding this one on to John Ashcroft. But, if you want to put in an order before they get shut down, give them a call at (863) 859-0799.


It’s time for another reader submission game. Somewhere on this page should be an interesting photo of three toilets. Use your imagination and come up with a tale about how those commodes came to be there. Send it to, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just record some flushing on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.

We’re out coming up with our story …

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